Heart thumping.
Body numbing.
Left me gasping.
For once, someone saw the truth I've been hiding.
I'm chasing happiness like an insomniac trying to dream
Impossible to reach but still
...Hoping?
While letting myself fall to the void
I stopped trying to save myself months ago
The last time someone tried to save me
Hopefully the last time someone does save me
I'm a lost case
Don't waste your energy anymore
Every day feels longer than the last
Heaving more and more on my shoulders
My knees are threatening to give out
And no one will be there to catch me
Because I've always been their safety net
Not the other way around
I'm tired of living day to day like nothing is happening
But I will stay silent
Put on a mask and pretend I'm okay
Because I care too much for those who are in pain
So mine is null
Until I crash,
I will face this world alone
I've been living in silence for years
Through unspoken words and
Unshed tears I waited for
The words to flow, to go
From head to pen to paper
A trip they've made so many times before
A road they know, or knew
Until I met you.
You stopped the sadness that bred
The madness which inspired me,
Back when my words roamed free
And thoughts came alive in song.
For so long I hid behind a book
Without a second look at passersby
Content to live and die with only
Words besides me.
You came along like a summer storm
Out if nowhere, fierce and wild
Awakening the child that
Forgot how to laugh.
I never liked to force a line
But from time to time I grew tired
Of reason and rhyme and forgot
The simple beauty of a phrase
To help get me through the days.
Two tight
butts
both
belch
into
the bowl.
Toilet.
At night,
I
fight
tight
butts
of
the whole
world.
What kind of story can I write with a pen,
when the common story sold by a friend
is one of the short ones told with a gleam in the eye
No ink, just a sharp in the hand. No stink, though,
I just want it over, man. My living room is no tomb,
it's entrance and exit, byway to the highway but the
shoulder's overflowing, growing closer to me than
you think and neighbor, you're the 216.
Trapped in a nightmare,
Silent screams for somebody.
Best to laugh, not cry.
You can hide a thing
but it will not make it go away
it is going to stay
the same
waiting for you.
I'm allowing myself to be tongue tied
Not to punish myself
But because I think I finally learned my place
Everyone has left
And for good reason
So I wait for someone to come to me
Someone who is willing to untie the knot
All it takes is a simple "I miss you"
But until that day
I will sit silently...
Waiting
The door is always open...
And I'm easy to blame
So I give up my pride
It's all I really have left
Because God knows I don't need it anymore
There is a monster in my toy box and he’s covered in purple fur.
His eyes are like slot machines and they whizz around and whir.
He makes me say silly things and he plays with our cat.
He hides the TV remote under the bathroom mat.
He comes out every night to read through all my books.
He tears the corners, he writes in them in crayon and just look...
When I try to catch him, he scurries far away.
Mummy and Daddy, I’m not naughty, I just have to say:
“It was the monster in my toy box, he’s naughty all the time.
You just never see him ‘cos he’s so clever with all his crimes!”
I'm losing my ability to care for myself
Because everyone who I care about is leaving
And I wait
But no one will turn around.
No one
I could scream for them to come back
But I would lose my voice before anyone heard me
Leaving me alone
Like where I started
Everything really does come full circle
I came to you when you were happy,
So I guess for that to come back I have to leave
Remind her that it's raining
And write her a new song
It'll keep your mind off
Things...
I'm going insane
Stuck in place with nowhere to go
And the she-devil on the way
My sanity left with the two I had
One alone and the other away for the night
So I sit and wait
Until someone saves me
From what I know will happen
Reminding myself to bite my tongue
And hold back everything
She'll be gone soon
Then you can hide from the world again
Run to your room and close the door tightly
Hopefully this will all be over soon
And someone will find you alive