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In reverse of the waddle wheel
the landscape runs back in blow
of winds that take a hair threadlike’s hand
to dance a trickle of pathos
when I swallow.
Not thoughts of of prattle, but roars within struggle
as if time concreted through spaces, still,
to contingency thee confide.
What a subtle heaviness to stand where I shall revel
What a terrible freedom to know what I cannot sail

It’s gonna end.

But until now I can’t even tell
what I am missing,
for what, and by whom?
19:58 January 22, 2025. In Xishuangbanna's breeze, damp and feeble and summer.
The wind blows.

Tracking, violating, a little train on its way
to the E island for the ninety-fourth time this day
in this infinitesimal airport, this enormous node
converged of weaves of space,
meaning collided.

A young woman gazing somewhere not special,
until my sight aligned with hers: rail unravels
its skeleton as the train forwards
only as bitten by the steal heaviness, that
guises dumb voyagers, a heavy lightness
inside.

Tapped by sound, a haphazard feeling of mind, I
percept couples prattling in native English
from scattering finches called home
Drifting away or reflowing towards,
adjacency suspends in lenses of all.

Afraid
to envision the scent of seeds unplanted,
to dwell on questions without an answer,
to defy gravity,
I know you are too.

The wind blows.

Departing with my hue of strength found in all that I lacked,
a sprawl of bouncing breeze leaves my tune beneath the rail.
22:49 May 5, 2025. In the clouds above South China Sea.
AE May 27
unpaved roads
where will we go
tumbling between brick and brick
latching on to a shoulder sack
filled to the brim with burden
in it we found places for memory
places for love and hope
places for fear and pain
and a big gaping hole
for the ever growing grief
that never seems to fall out
so we head to the lake
and to the sea
because the rocks we hold
are too big to try skipping
across puddles
Immortality Jan 23
Calmness,
felt heavier
than it had ever been.

I sense the future,
but lack the courage
to reveal.

A perfect moment,
to step,
into the storm.
One of my bucket-lists involve - to stand on the edge of a cliff and knowing the view is breathtaking, but at the same time, terrifying too....

🤞
until no one push me... hehe...
silvervi Sep 2024
Ghosting
Ghosting
I am ghosting myself

Wasting
Wasting
I am wasting my life

Shadows
Shadows
Shadows all around me

Sadness
Sadness
Sadness is the last thing

That makes me happy y y
06/2023
AE Aug 2024
Sometimes, it feels as if my arms
are reaching out to the sky
as gravity pulls everything I am
all the way down, beyond the ground
into those little spaces
inside my head
where I scold myself
and say everything is dead
where I run my hands
against jagged edges
looking for reasons to bleed
but even then, like two ropes
tight around my wrists
or better yet, two hands
with an endless grip
hope, or the glass dish on the top shelf
whatever it is, it pulls and pulls
till I flood, and those little spaces
vanish, momentarily
tryhard Dec 2023
it is tiring
always carrying
the world on your shoulders
tell me
honestly
how can you breathe
drowning in your sea of sadness
how long will it take
for you to see
the sun never rises
because you stay in your darkness
because you've only discovered
it is easier to be angry
than it is to be hurt
how does it feel now
realizing the heaviness in you
is what's weighing you down
because it is tiring
always carrying
what you think is the world on your shoulders
lay it all down
let it all go
just saw this was in my drafts since dec 2019??? so **** it, published it :D
AE Nov 2023
I don’t think I could tell you of ease
But I see you across from this sea in between
Shifting in your seat, nursing a dull ache
I know that feeling all too well
But I don’t want to tell you about it
In case I may come across insensitive
Because I’m trying not to shift this center of gravity
We both share in desperation
And tip us over the edge
We didn’t dare to wonder about
But I never learned to swim
And this sea in between
is filling up my lungs
When did it get so hard to breathe?
I call after you, under my shallow breath
I see you for everything  
Hoping you see me too
But this heavy air we drink
Settles in your shadow and mine
It spells out gracefully
That the spaces between us
Are built out of love
And so, we go on
Paving distances
For these descending clouds
bubblyflower Apr 2021
Why can't I express myself into words?
This heaviness, stuck to my arms and mouth,
It makes feel like a butterfly stuck in a web.
I want to talk and write more and more,
My word is getting duller and duller
I want to confess to you
I want to speak to my friends
I want to be happy.
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