the more knowledge we impart to ourselves,
the greater the sorrow,
ignorance is bliss but not for tomorrow,
chaos and riots arise holding weapons' helves
the deeper the wisdom, so does the grief,
all these violence and injustice causes disbelief,
has all the humanity dissolved in a hierarchy of power,
in this time of wide awakening, do the just collapse or take over?

IA

As soon as I learned
I don’t need to hold anyone's hand
while I’m crossing the road anymore,
The heaviness
of the risks I never knew
not to take
conversed with me after dark,
they reside.

my grief, a calm sea
with me who's underwater
with no air, no life

hands facing the sun
slowly reaching for my ship
hoping i will float—

heavy is my loss
far from reach, ship is sinking
a retribution

my ship as my foe
and her fall is my drowning
untimely future

and time stood still for—
my ship, a broken wreckage
leaving me wading

salvation in death
i swam for survival and
no ship for rescue

people did find me
lonely hero with nothing
but my sun-dried tears

captain with no ship
grief heavy like dead body
rolling off the plank

my ship, a ghostship
where i am the only ghost
and my ship's at peace

"sorry for your loss"
how much does condolence weigh
to you—a stranger

I remember that heaviness
Laying on my mothers bathroom floor
Spiralling
Hitting no end
I was laying there for hours..
Staring at the ceiling being engulfed in emotion
I have a love/hate for that moment in time
I felt so much of one emotion it was like a drug

blue lilies
now;wilted and zapped
petals of hibiscuses;
frosting and drooping
pressed between our pages
stenching and staining
them edges
bleeding


the flesh stenches
the putrid blooms
carve squealing wounds
the blood engulfs the heart
that deliquesces


the crevices are graved
then the heart deliquesces
and falls into two
down/a rotting corpse
it oozes into


the disgust of existence
creeping through shredded layers
of shroud
covering the withering bones,
mass
and
emotions


searing
it melts eventually-the shroud
until it reaches the bones
crashes them there
spilling the liquids/
all that is left bare
is already atrophying


and i guess that's the difference between dying and rotting
dying at least leaves you
the voids to hold onto
to be nostalgic for what was held
dying-paints,hues from the ashes that blew


but rotting
eats away all that existed
and snaps leaving
detritus,stinking
odor that i need  


the craft of us
all worn out
the fragments dis plumed through holocausts
the rebellion in ruination  
and the twitched cold feet
each breath i've took,now smothering
you,me,and everything



the reflections,contradictions
intoxicating,caging charcoal abstracts
punctured and ruptured
all constituents consuming and decaying now
every treble
so heavy


freezing not frozen
perishing not lighter


maybe these moments
-they never stop
cause right there in the midst
everything rots.
-/and we let it

~d

I don't understand
why are we concealing our heaviness
our heartaches
our blues
behind laughter.
Packaging them as humor
and art with a ribbon on top
when it's dark raw and pain
I don't understand
why we aren't talking about it.
Because it is just becoming worse
for you, I everyone.