I didn't want to sit and pose for you
I didn't want you to paint me
For all that I was in that brief moment
I was not enough yet then
And I had no desire to be your muse
I was sitting right in front of you
Eyes begging you to keep me forever
At the table next to you
On the other side of the couch
Or to the right of you while you sleep
I don't want to be hung on the wall
Not touched for months at a time
Something you passively think about
While I'm left out to dry
What a cruel thing to do to someone
The glass pedestal you put me on
Cut me when I fell from it
Will you paint that too?

I heal so slowly without your touch,

Though I try not to need you so much.

You’re a forest fire; I’m just the spark,

Burning alone in this endless dark.

Each thought of you ignites the flame,

A warmth I crave, though it’s never the same.
Without your presence, I feel incomplete,

A flicker of hope where shadows meet.

I’ll admit it—I’m still codependent,

But you’re my balance, my transcendence.
Even when you close every door,

I only seem to want you more.

Your absence echoes through my chest,

A constant ache, a restless unrest.

You’re the gravity I can’t escape,

The unseen force that gives me shape.

I cut the rope; you fell from the tower,

But I still miss you in every hour.

Even now, as I think of you with her,

The thought of you alone makes my heart stir.

I let you go to find your way,

Believing love would bring you back someday.

But I’m locked in the memory, unable to flee,
Forever lost in the dream of what we could be.

You’re the choice I’d make a thousand times,
Even knowing you may never be mine.

I walk the edge of hope and despair,

Clinging to moments when you were there.
How do I move when you’re still my air,

A part of my soul I can’t help but bear?

You say nothing, but I can read your face—
A map of longing you can’t erase.

I see the words you’re too scared to speak,
Written in silence where our eyes meet.

Even as you walk a path I can’t follow,

Your heart’s compass points to love you swallow.

You’re not here, and it doesn’t feel right,

Like a song without rhythm, a starless night.
Say the words, and I’d be yours right now,
Even as she wears your love somehow.

Her touch may linger, but it’s not the same—
She holds the title, but I hold the flame.

I wonder if she sees the man I knew,

Or if the real you is hiding, too.

I dream of a love that time won’t destroy,

A bond beyond reason, untouched by the void.

I told you things I’ve told no one else,

Now they’re locked away on my own shelf.

If you called, I’d break every vow—
This fire burns quietly, but it burns for you now.

Each secret shared was a piece of my soul;
A fragile offering to help make you whole.
Though I’m silent, the embers remain,

A love unspoken, but never tamed.

"If you love it set it free,
if it returns then it's meant to be,"
though I know these messages
no one will read
nor will they ever come back to me.

Feet steeped
knee deep
I plea
with the sea,
debris
and defeat
littering
the beach.

Moonlit mirror,
image obliterated
by rocky reefs,
leaving only
glittering filigree
just beyond reach,
surrounded by
what-could-have-beens.

Nobody
keeps me company
but grief.

This is the price I have to pay,
That's why some say 'loving hard' is a curse.

As much as I love wholeheartedly,
cutting into my chest and opening up my heart…
I am but only a tiny flame flickering in the midst of the fire.

I can give everything, but she will always have other people to love…
to cherish,
to be vulnerable with,
to trust,
to build recurring relationships,

And I will just be another choice, a record on the dusty turntable lusting for your hands to set me into motion once again.

But... nobody said love was easy.


Nobody speaks of the jealousy,
the envy,
the selfishness,
the yearning to need someone so deeply or to be needed with as much intensity.

My perspective of love, is that it can be selfish … demanding … obligatory;
full of needs and wants.


But its beauty lies in everything it is made up of;
including the selfishness to hide a person away for your own benefit.

The demanding feelings to give someone your best,
Even when you are at your worst.

In the obligation to care and be empathetic, highlighting your best attributes.


Love is always going to be everything it is,
And everything it is not.
However difficult 'loving hard' may be,
I would not choose to love any other way.

Let go

They:
"SHE LOVED YOU, WHY DON'T YOU-"

HE:
Every day my heart pleads,
When eyes stain.
Maybe just one more glance of sight
Or the last whisper of your lovely voice.
Craving for your memories,
Even in my dreams.
But it's time to let you go.

I hear them gossip, "It Was Easy For Him"
But no one knows
_ The pain of piercing his own heart to bleed
  And let her go💔

~Varsha_Srinivasan

Thank you for the quiet goodbye,
For following truth, not weaving a lie.
Though it pierced me, deep and slow,
You chose the path where honesty grows.

The pain of missing you is killing me,
But I know it’s a kinder cruelty.
Had you chosen me, with her in your mind,
It would have unraveled me, piece by piece, in time.

I’d have wondered if her shadow lingered there,
If your gaze held her image, your heart split, unfair.
I could have been your shelter, your flame,
But in my arms, her name would remain.

It would have destroyed me, not to know,
If your love was whole, or part of a show.
To lie awake, fearing every embrace,
Was a memory of her you couldn’t erase.

And worst of all, the quiet doubt,
That your choice of me had shut something out.
That you wondered, in silence, if you were right,
While I loved you with all my might.

So thank you for sparing me that fate,
For stepping back before it was too late.
For loving me enough to let me be free,
From the shadow of a love not meant for me.

The pain of missing you may never leave me,
But your choice saved me from far greater agony.
I’m grateful you chose her,
And even more grateful you chose not to destroy me.

Thought I would need to be blind
to miss the signs that
you were meant to be mine;
smiles stretched miles wide
and serendipity starbound
in the nights together
awake til twilight.
But your gentle touch
is now engraved in my spine,
cleaved by the same knives
which divided
once you decided
that you reside
over the line.

Memories that bind
still seize,
bleed in my mind;
I'm undone
but not yet untied,
I took a dive
and the only reciprocity
were my returning sighs like the tide,
the quiet and silence
of goodbyes
bottles now washed up on the seaside
freezing messages
left inside,
the past now magnified,
broken glass gutting
and cutting me down to size
leaves me grieving a lie
crying why can't I find,
tried,
died,
now pining to be revived–
my god am I even still alive?
Well I guess its time
to just
survive.

Eyes never lie
Then was it hallucination, or just my delusional mind?
That I thought he was in love with me!

Was it just a matter of pretend?
Pretend to love me so as to get me,
I might say my body..

What was it that I saw his eyes full of love for me?
His actions that I mistook for,
To bring the world for me.

If only I knew that eyes sometimes lies,
Sometimes betray.

I won’t reach out again—not now, not soon,
Though my heart still whispers to the silent moon.
Your voice still lingers in the corners of my mind,
But I’ve learned that love can’t outrun the unkind.

You said goodbye—so softly, yet so clear,
A dagger wrapped in words I still half-fear.
And though I’d trade the stars for one more day,
I’ll not beg a soul who chose to walk away.

Twice, you will not tell me I’m not your choice;
I won’t silence my worth to quiet your voice.
I’ll assume you’re happy; she holds your hand,
While I hold my silence, as was your command.

I miss you so much; how I wish you could see,
But I’ll carry this ache with quiet dignity.
You’ll hear no message, no pleading refrain;
The echo of absence will call out your name.

If you wish to speak, you’ll know where to find
The woman who once gave her heart and her mind.
But until you seek me, this truth will remain:
I’ll never again walk toward love through the rain.

Though you chose her, you said it was ease—
A history shared, and distance that pleased.
You spoke of your love, how real it had been,
But love that’s weighed against ‘easy’ can’t win.

I’m not a fallback, a regret to erase,
A comfort you seek when you’ve lost your place.
I’m not the safe harbor you turn to in shame,
When the love you chose no longer feels the same.

I won’t be a shadow, a thought in the haze,
A memory you chase on your loneliest days.
I understand mistakes—we all lose our way,
And maybe you’ll see it more clearly one day.

But know this: I will never be second to none;
A choice made for comfort is a love that’s undone.
If you realize the weight of what you let go,
I’ll forgive the mistake, but still, you should know:

I may understand, but I’ll never comply;
I’m no one’s ‘what if,’ no matter the why.