Oh, duplicitous lover of mine—
who are you, lying beside me?

The father, whose pride rings from your mouth
like the bells of liberty?

The husband, whose arms once lifted my soul?


Or the traitor who razed his own kingdom—
a castle turned to rubble at your feet?

So cunning, you are-
the parasite at the bottom of the glass,
a shadow shifting in the room,
with poison on your tongue.

Do you love me today?
Or them?

How long will your eyes cling like cobwebs
to strangers who were never yours to seek?

How long before you feel
how cold our bed has grown?

My touch?

How long until you notice
I am not asleep—
just lying beside a memory.  

I’ve heard your denials,
your guilt already etched in stone.

Your hands hold me like a promise.
Yet,  your eyes betray me like a curse.

And still—
I feel the echoes of our late-night dances
stream down my face as I cry today.
Different tears.  

Same man.

I am the witness to your storm,
and still I reach for your warmth—
like a ghost returning
to the scene of its death.

I do not know the man who holds me.
But I remember the man I love.

So I lie still in this haunted bed,
wondering if I am mourning
you—
or myself.

Between you & me the sands of time ran out                                                              ­
                                                                ­                                                        
So many memories that I forgot about                                                            ­      
                                                                ­                                                
Riding out on a canoe, swimming at the Gap                                              
                                                                ­                                                      
The first time you kissed me, I was taken aback                                              
First date in January snow, it was so **** cold                                
                            ­                                                                 ­                       
Your love was the first I'd known & it felt like gold                                              
              ­                                                                 ­                                   
  Going out to your parent's place, I was so **** scared,                                                          ­      
                                                                ­                                                      
  and from the look on your face, you were scared as well                                                      
      ­                                                                 ­                                           
  but it all worked out & we had a good time                              
 Without any doubts we got along just fine                                                             ­     
                                                                ­                                                  
We dated for a long time & before we knew                                                  
                                                                ­                                                  
You were all mine & our love grew                                                             ­ 
                                                                ­                                              
  Sadly, I was much younger than you                                                                      ­                                                
  You grew more serious than I really knew                                            
                ­                                                                 ­                                 
  You were ready to marry & wanted to have kids                                
                            ­                                                                 ­                 
  More quickly than I ever did                                                              ­                                            
 You began to scare me with all your
needs                                                        
   ­                                                                 ­                                            
  And I wanted more than I received                                                         ­ 
                                                                ­                                                  
You were my first love, but the timing was bad                                                                            ­                                                     
I was too young & you were all I'd had                                                          
   ­                                                                 ­                                                  
I wanted to live, I wanted to love                                                             ­       
                                                         ­                                                             
I wanted to see what else there was
                                                                 ­                                                   
I'm so sorry I hurt you, it wasn't my intent                                                    
                                                                ­                                                        
I was too young to know what love really meant                                    
                       ­                                                                 ­                              
I know you loved me & wanted it to work                                
                                                                ­                                            
Believe me, I never wanted you to hurt                                                        
    ­                                                                 ­                                                 
It wasn't until the same thing happened to me                              
                                                                ­                                                
 That I knew I had to tell you, I am so sorry

They were breaking her, she was their favorite game,                                                            ­                                                                 ­                                                                 ­                                
Her face was a blur, they all called her names,                                                           ­                   
                                                                ­                                                      
She could have been anyone; they just had a need                                                                   ­                                                     
                                                                ­                                                    
to hurt someone with their reckless deeds                                                            ­                                                           
     ­                                                                 ­                                          
Fragile as glass, they chipped away at her,                                                                      ­                                                   
all in the same class, they liked throwing dirt                                          
                                                                ­                                                  
Some said she had demons of her own                                                                     ­                                               
they exorcised theirs by computer & phone                                                
                                                                ­                                                
They saw her as weak & hoped to bring her down                                                             ­                                                                 ­                                                                 ­                           
They sought out to seek someone to push around     
                                                                 ­                                                   
It all became too much; she committed suicide                                    
                     ­                                                                 ­                                
It was just too much for her to abide                                                    
                                                                ­                                                
They had broken her, she was their favorite game,                                                    
       ­                                                                 ­                                            
   To them a faceless blur whose life forever changed

When the rain falls,
Washing away the caked-on dirt from your face,
The thick of your web fails as the silk drops from the weight,
And I can breathe again.

Free from the venomous barbs and guilt-ridden limbs
That poke holes in my skin,
Free from my vital force being drained,
No longer a mere husk or cask
For you to tap and drain the crimson liquid,
I am no longer a dinner tray for your demonic maw.

I won’t be suffocated by your vice-like grip darkness,
I can’t be held down by the dimly lit specters,
I won’t save you from yourself,
Since you only wished to drown me further.

I am free of it,
Falling onto verdant paradise,
As the sun ignites my soul ablaze,
I can live again!

You have taught me how to hate    
                                                                 ­                                                
You have yourself to congratulate                                                                    ­                         
 You showed me what would be my fate                                                                    ­                                           
 and it was more than I could take                                                                    ­                                                   
  I still gave you everything I had                                                                          ­                                                
 You left me holding an empty bag                                                                          ­                                              
 Now you have dug your own grave                                                                       ­                                                      
I hope when you crawl in, it caves                                                            ­                                                                 ­                                                                 ­                                        
I have since removed my heart                                                                 
   You'll never get another part                                                                      ­                                         
   It is time you feel the loss                                                                              ­                             
   Miss all the love you've lost                                                             
                                                                ­                                             
 When you realize that you were wrong,                                                                    ­                                        
  I will already be long gone                                                                                                       ­  
And all the hate you showed to me                                                                      ­                                                 
Will come back on you times three

Goodbyes were never meant to be a pause,
And I give none as I hand you the gauze,
Remove these tendrils desperately latching,
Leeching my light like a parasite
Para-social soul eating piranha
Gnashing and gnawing on my temperance
I’m no more a possession than you are artwork.

My bags are checked,
The skies bleed with oranges and pinks,
The clouds part to guide a pathway
Calling all gates.

My mind is full,
Not enough space,
Baggage not claimed
I lack the overhead.

My patience was tested,
Poked through my protective vest,
Warned that I would fly further than the Perseids,
A flash of light in the lumbering dark
And you would rather dance blindfolded,
So don’t ask for truths your teeth can’t chew
It’s painful, and I mean it down to the root.

Set me free,
And watch the dream
Dissolve into something beautiful
Hope again, despite crashing my plane
And endure another day.

I don't love you, nor you me                                                               ­                                               
   We are fused together in misery                                                           ­                                       
   Once hidden from visibility                                                       ­                                         
Now we radiate hostility                                                        ­                                            
    No more I love You's are said,                                                            ­                                                
Insults get hurled instead                                                                          ­                                            
 Back-to-back we lay in bed                                                              ­                                    
 Wishing that the other was dead                                                             ­                                               
                                                                ­                                                      
A volcano ready to erupt                                                            ­                    
                                                                ­                                                  
Yet nothing left between us                                                                     ­                                            
  Makes me wonder if there ever was                                                                                                      
Except the hate I always got                                                                   ­    
It's sick, it's sad, it hurts so much                                                                      ­                                
 That I chose to hate over love

We don't even talk anymore                                                          ­                                                                             ­                                                  
No goodbye kisses at the door                                                             ­                                               
  I've got my life & you have yours                                                            ­                                                
                                                                ­                                                  
  We are still together, what for?         
                                                   ­                                                                   
You pretend that you still care                                                             ­       
                                                                ­                                                   
   Your mixed messages aren't fair                                                             ­                                                   
                                                                ­                                                      
I can see through the blank stares                                                           ­                                                                   ­                                          
 You're still here, but you're not there                                                            ­                                         
                       ­                                                                 ­                        
    What the hell have we done to us?                                                                       ­                                             
Broken hearts, broken trust