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Five centimetres closer we are to each other
But still, it is way too far
I fooled myself I am over you
But I know that will happen never

My heart is so light — so full of love
I want everyone to love you as I do
Instantaneously, my heart grows heavy
Cause I know I will never have you

Short of breath, weighted on the chest
A single drop rolling down my temple
So close to touch, so far to hold
On the shelf, from afar,
You’ll always be my muse
All these are me doing it to myself lol. ฟฟหยุดกี่โมง

Will polish later. Just need to get this out my heavy chest.
Jules Harper Jan 27
My heart’s sinking deeper than ever
Evermore would I lay in my yearning
Yearning for you whom I cannot have
Have not even the courage to let a sound out
Out of all I’ve done and I still feel
Feel the love for you like a lowly knight
Knight that can do nothing more than look up at his queen
Queen who can **** with just one glance
Glance sweeping through my stare
Stare at your back from a poet’s eyes
Eyes that are made just to avoid yours
Yours, the pair of a doe looking in interest
Rest my burning eyes inside my unworthy soul
Yall this is probably my first semi-proper heartbreak. Wish me luck

Title used to be Untitled. I revisit this cause I need to get my mind off the stress of applying and also I'm kinda bored. Reading this again, all I see is his back in the last frame I captured on my phone and in my mind (that sht burns in there good) and boy do I want to make that pic the title of this piece. But well, whatever cross-media type sht that is, I'm renaming it now.
Jules Harper Oct 2023
An occasional attention deficient lovelorn
Thought our rope ends grabbed—maybe I’m wrong
Checking my story for a display of blue
And on people’s pages hoping to see you

Is it implied—that they heard all my cries
—or am I too dumb to read between the lines
That I have never wished for someone else
Filled with feelings I have never felt

Losing my cool, launching towards my bed
Can’t even eat, made yourself home in my head
Want to be so loud, screaming V I like you
Maybe start it all with hi, nice to have met you
Still nothing. My brain and my heart is killing me. And have no idea how to even do this. Please wish me the best.
Jules Harper Oct 2023
I’d die someday falling for actors
With no respect for people around them
Of how bright the ray they fill the space with
And how it affected these dreams that I dreamt

The ***** of warmth and comfort they are
Like the yarns of my heart is getting played
With the powerful paw hiding the sharpest of claws
Ready to strike, while I’d knowingly stay
I don’t know what would happen first: me succeeding in this career path or me getting lovesick-induced heart attack because of these actors’ charismas. Stage people are scary as hell. Pray that I make it out alive.

Also, how do you start talking to a person? Like idk, I’m not the most confident person but I’m in the best state, better than I’ve ever been. Like he’s so adorable is one big reason, but the fact that I’ve never truly loved affects my acting and I want to fix that. So well, I’m letting myself truly feel for the first time and I’m sort of ready to risk it all.
Jules Harper Aug 2023
First time feeling like Juliet,
staring at you from the balcony
Majestic curly hair,
don’t know if you notice that like I do
Dark brown eyes,
sharp like a knife cutting right into me
And those smile in such hot weather,
somehow a shiver sent down my spine

Talking to your beloved friends,
your laugh could really end me
Don’t know if you know what you’re doing,
but I do know what to
Introducing myself to you,
introducing us, hopefully
That one day you’ll call me darling,
and I’ll call you mine
Last day of being a stage assistant of a 10 50-minute performances. Fun times, met interesting people, one volunteer work that I’ll give 8/10 sincerely grateful for the experiences and exposures.
Looking forward to the future.
Jules Harper Jun 2023
My eyes blank stared into nowhere
You casually fixed yours on me
I have been crushing on you
Still try keeping it low-key

I’ve loved your pretty tan skin
You casually complimented me
We sat right next to each other
I was breathing silently

I’m not the most secured person
You casually lean towards me
We were suddenly a step closer,
I’m more comfortable with me

I’ve seen your world as an outsider
While you laugh and cry and sing
Now I get why you’re an actor
So casually you’re radiating
Had a gay panic today because a charismatic af girl in my acting workshop complimented me after our audition at this biggest-production musical I’ve ever encountered. She is amazing as an artist, a friend, and a person. Wishing the best for her and I wish she passes this audition.
Jules Harper Dec 2022
Tears drop, heart aches
Nothing can be done
On my chest, heavy weights
Waiting for the Sun

3 months, as short
Not enough to blow
But 3 months, too short
Not enough to grow

3 months, just long
Enough to learn self love
And 3 months, as long
To bond and long for love

All connections made
Cannot sew in strong enough
All realizations fade
Cannot say I’m as tough

But not a second wasted
Have lived in the present
Much love given and taken
Are all lovely presents

Tears drop, heart warmed
All things have been done
On my mind, love swarmed
Finally, I see the Sun.
I’ve said goodbye to all my friends this week, one a day. It was heart-wrenching af, but at the same time, I’ve never felt this genuine appreciation simply of my existence before. These 3 months have been beautifully weird for my brain. I try to write my journal a lot to help process but the gears in my head are still figuring it out.

Farewell has never been easy for me, but this one is the hardest. What I had with my friends are so special, I doubt I can ever recreate this again in any other scenarios ever. I genuinely appreciate this experience, but sometimes I just wish it would never end. (But still, idk if I would’ve stayed longer, will I give it all the way I did knowing I’m here for only 3 months?)

Anyhow, as much clarity I gain from this trip, as many new questions about myself pops up in my mind. The times to come are going to be even more fun. On days like this I just love my life. And I’m celebrating birthday this year, cause for once, life is meaningful and is worth living.
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