Certainly surprised to make your acquaintance,
Brown eyes that make me feel, like I've met you before.
That smile (with all the light you cause to shine within) that makes the Marigolds sway and bloom, in this cavern of my mind.
A radiant individual, I look forward to getting to know.
I have yet to find your purpose, of a brief or long encounter, but appreciate it none the less.

As a child,
I used to run my hands
on the walls as I walked

Adults around
would warn me
about the filthiness
of those dust, graffiti,
*****, and poster covered walls

But touching them gave me
a weird sense of accomplishment
Like physical proof
that I was once here

moving forward

Today
I will not worry
what bacteria
this wall holds
what molds
have aged on its corners

Instead, I'll run my hands
with every step I take

smiling
because I am,
once again,
*moving forward

You sick twisted foolish
Man child that can hardly have emotion
You may haunt my mind
But you can't be he cause I ice my heart
You're a lost boy
With no place to call home
The past is a memory
A ghost
But because of you
It's a banshee
I can't live much longer in this state
Because everywhere I go
You follow me there
Just because your father
Is an abusive piece of work
Doesn't mean you have to be
Maybe you don't realize
What it is you do to girls like me
Girls like Mo
Girls like Em
All us mentally unstable due to rough situations
But you put us through hell
And never just once
I loved you
Past tense
Maybe present
Possibly future if you were to change
But you destroyed my entire being
Girls like us need build me ups
Not abuse me down
Maybe you don't recognize this form of abuse
Because it isn't the kind your father exhibited
But it hurts just as much
If not more
Abuse is still abuse
You told me time after time
You'd do anything to not be your father
But here you are on this abusive path
You asked me once if
When we were married
I'd let you shoot your gun in the house
And you begged me to say no
But I told you
If you aim that gun at me
Or my kids I'll ******* leave
Because no way in hell would
I put with that nonsense
Yet here I still am
Standing by while you
Unknowingly abuse me

I hope you think of me
When it's late at night.
I hope you remember the way I smiled
When you said "I can't do this anymore."
I hope you think of me
And wonder why I smiled then.

I smiled because I knew,
I knew I loved you even if
You couldn't love me.
I smiled because
You were breaking my heart,
And I didn't know what else to do.

I hope you think of me and you realize,
I smiled every day for you.
Even when I hid my tortured life
From you.
I smiled so you would be happy.
I smiled so you wouldn't worry.
I smiled so you would know my face.

And I smiled then,
Because it's what I always knew how to do
When everything fell apart.

Do not
Believe boys
When they tell
You they love love
Do not
Believe boys
When they tell you
They are in love with you.

Do not
Believe boys
When they tell you
They are men
After hurting you
Repeatedly
With their words
And actions.

Do not believe boys
Who claim to be men
When they push you aside
After proclaiming they want to marry you,
For other girls that hurt your most insecure parts.

Believe men
Who tell you are worthy.
Believe men
Who understand why it is wrong
To harm another.

Believe men
Who do not throw tantrums
Because something went wrong.

Do not believe
Vile children
In grown up bodies
Who think your health and comfort
Is stupid and not important.

Do not fall for blissful spring green laughter
After standing back up from
Horrific blue tornadoes,
It is too dangerous
It could be bad too.
Do not trust so easily,
Do not yearn so easily,
They could be lying too.

But in their colors you see a flare
Of pink that makes you excited,
Because you know your face is reflecting
That same color
In your complexion.

It cannot be a lie.
Not another lie.

But do not give your heart away
So easily.
Not yet.
Save it.
For now.

Do trust, though.
It will be safe
One day.

A young girl falls and trips
Wounded but alive she continues
Couldn’t care less about life’s flips
Choosing a path, she follows
Animals hurrying to scatter
She says “Life does matter”

Up the mountain she goes
Strong and clear headed in every step
Smiling as the beauty around grows
She looks at the dew on the cob web
Everything connected, organized in manner
She says “Life does matter”

Close to the top she looks and sees
A world of beauty and hope untainted
Nature with its life and its trees
All together in one big portrait painted
The last couple steps like a ladder
She says “Life does matter”

Up above the clouds on high
Stands a girl victorious and complete
But already saying her goodbye
To the world up above the concrete
There was still more to do after
She says “Life does matter”

I'm jealous
Not with what you have,
But with what you've been going through your life.
Your happy life.

The sparkle in your eyes like stars in the night.
The way your thin lips turned into a smile.
When you make a face as your burst into laughter
For you couldn't hold the joy that you are feeling anymore.

I wish to feel that way.
I wish to be complete again just like when I was just a kid.
I want to fill the emptiness in both my mind and heart.

But this is me.
This is what makes me who I am today.
This is my life.
This is what God planned to give to me.

Yes, I complain but it's just normal.
To sometimes let your emotions out so you'll feel better.
You may be overreacting but who cares?
That's what you're feeling.

Once you feel better,
Take a deep breathe.
Blink your eyes for as much as you want.
And say this to your self.

Life goes on.

It continues to move forward.
Do the best thing you can do.
Cleanse the negativity in your life,
using that good heart of yours.

Thank your everyday life.
Be glad that you get to see the clouds again.
Absorb every positive energy that you can get,
just like how the people absorb the heat from the sun on a beach.

Most of all,
Always pray to God.
Make him the center of your life.
The world doesn't revolve around you.

God's love is what makes the world revolve.

**-K

a kiss, my dear,
for old times sake.
swallow your pride
and just let go.

please embrace me
like you used to.
i want to feel
longing again.

emotions gone,
missing once more.
i do not know
if i'll survive.

holes in my heart
that you once filled,
are cavernous
craters, i know.

but move forward,
i tell myself.
do not look back,
smile through pain.