There are bonds that can’t be broken.
History spans times farther than us, but there are no I’s in it without us.
Just a bookmark where we left off.
Picking it up & finishing the story.
I told her I would always fold the page so I would forget I already read it.
She was in that way – the way in which a story just gets better with time.
One worth reading again and again.
It wasn’t a good novel without a tragedy.
Ours like a reckoning of a hurricane and tornado colliding.
One made for land & the other sea.
She was grounded in the ways I would never come to know of.
Split people like an earthquake beckoning for their essence to emerge.
I loved her that.
& I always will.
*Page Folded – Chapter 1

I wrote this poem that i will never let you read.
I'm still sorry for everything i did.
Saw you moved forward and found someone better.
Your smiles we're different now,
not like when we were together.

I pray for you every night;
for your peace, forgiveness and love.
Things I'm not sure i can have.
To the most sincerest soul i ever did met.
Thank you for the memories that i will never forget.

I lay with melancholy,
A emotion that is dark and unholy
Leaving you with a sense of dread
Almost wishing that you were dead.

It doesn't matter how hard you try
It seems you can't find the light
No matter what you do,
You always find yourself in the dead of night

You look in the mirror again,
Tears streaking your face,
Why cant i make amends
Instead of always having this chase

You play hard to get,
But you play to well,
You get forceful,
Only to beat yourself down.

You look at your past,
Your forced to see what you did
Like a knife to the heart,
Twisting and grinding.

You beg for mercy,
only to be denied by yourself
You beg for forgiveness,
Only to be beat down.

Don't you see.
This all starts with you.
As it must end the same.
Until you contend with yourself.
You shan't begin to contend with others.
Lest you be beat down twice.

I use to hurt people,
Now I help people,
The pain brought me some peace,
It had me thinking about my life,
Thinking about my choices,
Looking at myself,
Questioning my motives.

Life ain't the same for me,
Don't think the same,
Don't live the same,
Don't feel the same,
God replaced my heart with a new heart,
Was once cold-hearted,
Now I have a big heart.

Facing pain in the eyes changed my vision,
Crying my eyes out left me numb,
What I felt I can't feel no more,
What I was doing I ain't doing no more,
The way I was living i ain't living no more,
Confessed my sins and repented,
God forgave me,
Right my wrongs,
I'm now singing a new song.

Forgiveness comes in easy steps when all your life was beautiful;
It's easy to forgive someone for wrong doing to others.
In easy ways you seem to care for nobody just like they cared,
It's easy.
Forgiveness comes in various ways, just keep noticing troubles.

Upset, the saints still think of days they know as right for human kind,
Enlightened, saved, after the fight for justice they find peace.
What kind of a saint you are?
I ask, what kind of a human?
Animal?
Complete, all saints know what is right or wrong for everybody.

It's easy to surrender to easy ways and easy times,
It's nonsense to fight for your reasons.
When dreams all collide forming a star,
The one I was forced to understand as once human
Becomes happier.

Forgiveness, coming in ways sometimes mysterious,
it's not the whole world knowing that I have to die
For you to be merrier.

Forgiveness: It's easy to forgive when you don't have to go back to your torments!

Above you are, claiming your souls,
Your need is to conquer.
Cry of pride, anger and sorrow,
A strong spirit, stern, calm remains.

You're forgiven, my child,
You aren't among restless souls.
Called you are to curse back if cursed.
One day, maybe I'll learn,
I had to, for the sake of my soul.

Playful net, a miracle made,
Desperate chords expressing live feelings.
All those who have once felt the same feel;
My God, rest their souls, still forgiving.
A heart strong, in hell, no more living.

I hate my inner *****
                                 who flares recurringly, consistently,
        cruelly to the surface upon those
                                                            who least deserve it.

I hate my inner narcissist
                                        who rears herself
                                                                            so cleanly
                              on the outer sleeve of
                                                   Me
          bashing down while lifting me up
                                                            on the shoulders of
                                            comparison

I hate my learned complexes
                                    bred not of my parents
            but of a woman who saw                       a light
                             and sought only to
                                                                         consume it.

I hate how amid the dread and sin
                               every rippled part of these indentions below my skin
                                      I must completely forgive them.