𝕀 𝕡𝕒𝕚𝕟𝕥𝕖𝕕 𝕥𝕙𝕖 𝕕𝕒𝕣𝕜 , 𝕨𝕚𝕥𝕙 𝕥𝕙𝕖 𝕝𝕠𝕧𝕖 𝕪𝕠𝕦 𝕤𝕙𝕒𝕣𝕖𝕕 ,
𝕕𝕣𝕒𝕨𝕟 𝕥𝕙𝕖 𝕦𝕟𝕝𝕚𝕞𝕚𝕥𝕖𝕕 𝕓𝕠𝕦𝕟𝕕𝕒𝕣𝕚𝕖𝕤 , 𝕨𝕚𝕥𝕙 𝕥𝕙𝕖 𝕔𝕒𝕣𝕖 𝕪𝕠𝕦 𝕓𝕖𝕒𝕣𝕖𝕕

𝕚𝕥 𝕤𝕙𝕚𝕟𝕖𝕕 𝕕𝕖𝕖𝕡𝕝𝕪, 𝕛𝕦𝕤𝕥 𝕝𝕚𝕜𝕖 𝕪𝕠𝕦𝕣 𝕖𝕪𝕖𝕤 ,𝕨𝕙𝕖𝕟 𝕞𝕖𝕥 𝕨𝕚𝕥𝕙 𝕞𝕚𝕟𝕖,
𝕔𝕒𝕟𝕧𝕒𝕤𝕤𝕖𝕕 𝕥𝕙𝕖 𝕞𝕠𝕤𝕥 𝕓𝕖𝕒𝕦𝕥𝕚𝕗𝕦𝕝 𝕞𝕠𝕞𝕖𝕟𝕥𝕤 , 𝕛𝕦𝕤𝕥 𝕝𝕚𝕜𝕖 𝕤𝕚𝕡𝕡𝕚𝕟𝕘 𝕤𝕠𝕞𝕖 𝕧𝕚𝕟𝕥𝕒𝕘𝕖 𝕧𝕚𝕟𝕖

ℂ𝕒𝕟'𝕥 𝕝𝕠𝕠𝕜 𝕠𝕦𝕥 𝕒𝕥 𝕥𝕙𝕖 𝕒𝕞𝕒𝕫𝕚𝕟𝕘 𝕘𝕝𝕚𝕞𝕞𝕖𝕣𝕚𝕟𝕘 𝕟𝕚𝕘𝕙𝕥 𝕤𝕜𝕪,
𝕟𝕠𝕥 𝕖𝕧𝕖𝕟 𝕒𝕥 𝕥𝕙𝕖 𝕡𝕣𝕖𝕔𝕚𝕠𝕦𝕤 𝕤𝕥𝕒𝕣𝕤, 𝕨𝕙𝕚𝕔𝕙  𝕀 𝕨𝕒𝕤 𝕠𝕟𝕔𝕖 𝕨𝕒𝕟𝕥𝕖𝕕 𝕓𝕖𝕗𝕠𝕣𝕖 𝕞𝕪 𝕖𝕪𝕖

𝕀 𝕥𝕣𝕚𝕖𝕕 𝕥𝕠 𝕤𝕡𝕒𝕣𝕖 𝕞𝕪 𝕥𝕚𝕞𝕖, 𝕛𝕦𝕤𝕥 𝕓𝕪 𝕘𝕒𝕫𝕚𝕟𝕘 𝕒𝕥 ℝ𝕖𝕕 𝕣𝕠𝕤𝕖𝕤,
𝕠𝕣 𝕖𝕧𝕖𝕟 𝕥𝕣𝕚𝕖𝕕 𝕥𝕠 𝕡𝕚𝕔𝕥𝕦𝕣𝕖 𝕞𝕖 𝕒𝕝𝕠𝕟𝕖, 𝕦𝕟𝕕𝕖𝕣 𝕞𝕠𝕠𝕟-𝕝𝕚𝕥 𝕟𝕚𝕘𝕙𝕥𝕤,
𝕓𝕦𝕥 𝕔𝕒𝕟'𝕥 , 𝕟𝕠 𝕟𝕠𝕥 𝕖𝕧𝕖𝕟 𝕚𝕟 𝕕𝕣𝕖𝕒𝕞𝕤

𝔽𝕠𝕣 𝕀 𝕔𝕒𝕟'𝕥 𝕙𝕖𝕝𝕡 𝕞𝕪 𝕖𝕪𝕖𝕤 𝕤𝕖𝕒𝕣𝕔𝕙𝕚𝕟𝕘 𝕠𝕟𝕝𝕪 𝕗𝕠𝕣 𝕪𝕠𝕦
𝔽𝕠𝕣 𝕀 𝕔𝕒𝕟'𝕥 𝕙𝕖𝕝𝕡 𝕗𝕒𝕝𝕝𝕚𝕟𝕘 𝕖𝕒𝕔𝕙 𝕥𝕚𝕞𝕖 𝕠𝕟𝕝𝕪 𝕓𝕖𝕗𝕠𝕣𝕖 𝕪𝕠𝕦

I like  calligraphy
It's more like how your voice sings to me
Beautiful and sweet
Is it honey and you have a bee hive in your voice box
Baby you got me locked up in an ice berg
What's strange I'm not freezing
This love warms me up
Oh God! I love how you make me
Happy and proud
I love you and will never stop
If love is something I'm catching its because you let me run after you
In the day and night
Flowers bloom and don't die
You are the crystal that's gonna purify my soul
Lay next to me baby mama
I'm yours and you are mine
Love you to the moon and back
It's forever love💕

A forsaken smile crawls forward as she greets her past,
Rushing with euphoria and glee - his call beacons her,
Uplifting and fulfilling does he compliment her every day,
A mistaken encounter solidified as she prays.

Ever closer your cooties approach my fabric, multiplying like maggots.

Can I even muster the courage
to peek under the sheets?

Nope.

Too afraid of what I'll see...
Perhaps a mushroom shaped like me?

Nowadays your dead skin cells are my pillow.

Funny.

You're warmer dead than alive,
and your cooties still thrive.

I don’t think I’m in denial anymore… but sometimes I guess I almost just forget. Like I’ll just randomly see or hear something that reminds me of you and then I remember a memory of us together— and then all of a sudden it’s like it hits me all over again and I realize I’ll never see you again… and it’s just such a gut wrenching thought. I wonder if I’ll remember the sound of your voice or how you used to light up when you laughed; that large, bowl full of jelly Santa laugh you had! I miss it more than I ever thought possible. It’s so strange to think you’re really just not here; not part of this world anymore. Forever is a very long time to not see someone or talk to them again… it’s a scary, vast amount of space and time that seems almost empty in your absence.

It almost doesn’t feel real sometimes, though the necklaces and box that have what is left of you physically, remind me otherwise. I wish you were here. I can’t remember the last time we had a proper conversation, or even just a visit. Covid really messed that up for us… I wish I could have gone to see you. I wish I could have spoken to you more. I hope you knew I loved you and that I always have and always will. You have left an ache in my heart that I don’t think will ever be fully healed. I know you didn’t mean to and you would hate for me to feel this way, but I just miss you and wish you could have stayed.

I hope you’re happy wherever you are out there. I hope it’s beautiful and free from any pain. I hope it’s everything you wished for and more. I hope you come visit and check in sometimes. I hope you know how much I miss you.

Love always,
Papas sunshine ☀️