I can’t shake this feeling

That everything is fleeting

Like sand through my lips

And I’m just a glass

With no chance to flip

You said love is fleeting.
That we should be happy
For the time we had
When we had it.

You saw us as a grain of sand,
While I saw us as the hourglass.

You said love never lasts.
That the hottest
and brightest flame
Burns the fastest.

You saw us as a firework,
While I saw us as the sun.

Philosophers, poets, and parents alike
Will advise you
to stay focused on the future
To not stand rooted
with one foot in the past

But how can I walk forward
When I am anchored to the ground
Drowning in my anxieties and doubts?

Guarding my heart and head
Like a snake slithering around it’s nest
One wrong step or misplaced sound
And the vicious bite
will take my life

So I bury my head in old photo albums,
re-read books that once made me feel free,
And wash my sheets every Sunday
So that the smell of lavender and linen
never leaves my skin

Then I wonder to myself
Why Christmas doesn’t warm my heart anymore
Or why the water at our lakes edge
for once in my life Feels cold
why I don’t
laugh as much as I used to

I trouble my mind so much
That I have to distract myself
Just to stop worrying about wasted time
And to rid the recurring realization
That at this moment I am oldest I have ever been
And the youngest I will ever be

When did getting older become so complicated?
When did it start to feel  suffocating
Instead of liberating.

coalescing into the night time,
prancing about the dream time,
smiling through another time,
you love for a fleeting time.

the champagne tastes bitter
my head swims and I think
maybe I need a bathing suit

maybe i'll never see god but the
breeze keeps touching my face
and the insects **** my blood
disease my legs and that's okay
because there's a part in me that has difficulty taking my watch off and there's a part in him that has difficulty taking his shoes off
despite the harmony I feel there's a head in the back of my own
that tells me that solitude would not suffice for such a shy creature that only wants warmth from another
there, there
there

Riddles fill the mind
Am I yours?
Or are you mine?
In the twilight, you drift away
Now I'm begging you to stay
As I cross the bridge
The distance between us grows
I can see you fading
Fleeting like my cries
Hoping you can hear
I know you're already gone
Now regret and turmoil fill my soul
Gnawing at my essence
I must find a way to cope
To navigate the darkness
Now that I'm alone