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krm Feb 2019
Body, you had no suitor
When honesty is lost
courage could not have been misplaced worse
  by anyone else  
than my failures.

We never belonged-
A wallflower
to the dance of life.

Happiness, you are too big of a concept
For this head.
I dreamt of you in dances,
Being dipped into the sunlight.
Reborn by possibility
and bathing in the glow
that could handle the portrayal of a shadow
so dark

Shadow, you will soon feed
And I shall be consumed,
just  as you wanted.
Light, I wish I would have asked,
For your blessing.
Allison Wonder Jan 2019
Lying on the bathroom floor,
blade resting on the sink.
Unsure how to get up,
I feel myself begin to shrink.

Bloodied tissues looking down
on the mess lying below.
Beaded drops continue to form,
until heavily the must flow.

Shivering against the cold,
damp towel draped over.
Naked body frozen in fear,
flashbacks still they hover.

Passed out from exhaustion
of the war raging inside.
Help comes to pick me up,
instead I wish I'd died.
Allison Wonder 2019
Lia Jan 2019
Hollow, deep and empty;
Welcoming to the dark.
Hollow, deep and empty;
Wishing to make my mark.
Hollow, deep and empty;
The flashbacks begin to start.
Hollow, deep and empty;
These scars are not a work of art.
Alysia Marie Dec 2018
I’m sick
And I’m tired
I’m eating my words
As they dance on my tongue
Making me squirm as they turn
Oh I’m biting
I’m chewing
Simply swallowing my pride
For I can’t say how I feel
No matter how hard I’ve tried
For they pin me
They ***** me
Puncturing my mind
As I sit here and silence
Muted like a mime
I can’t say it
I fear it
The version that you’ll see
If I emit all of these feelings
My caged memories
For they haunt me
They taunt me
Like a stained porcelain tub
You can’t rid it of residue
No matter how hard you scrub
That’s my mind
They’re my eyes
Tinted a light shade of blue
As eroded as these beaches
I’m drowning from you
Your fingers
They’ve grabbed me
Now bruising my soul
How can one escape from your grasp-
I just long to feel whole
For it was physical
Now emotional
Unsure which one is worse
See these flashbacks you’ve gifted me
Were your most vicious curse


                               Alysia Marie 2018 ©
Perhaps one day these flashbacks will subside
Perhaps one day it’ll all end.
mars Oct 2018
Old memories and dizzy songs from her childhood dance across the roof of her brain eyelashes dripping tears and hiccuping painful sobs. Hiding in the school bathroom not from bullies but her own fears. Blinking at the reflective yellow tiles she pushes away the yellow bathroom.

Water drips into the rusty ***** porcelain and the mirrors fog from humidity. Gasping for air and resemblance looking down to see that his hands aren’t there.

Fingers trembling and stepping out of the stall, one among over the sink washing the tears from her face and praying for a vacation, vacation from hell, mania, and psychosis infested cranial cavity and fog swirling swarming her.

Worrying about her fate again that a small breeze of nostalgia fluttered in her heart. Thinking a moment past she had someone in her room that she loved. A person of flesh to talk and hug.

She is lonely now. She could not be more different and she has lost the memory-self that come to the state of reality where she is in the high room alone.
chichee Oct 2018
Two years later and
I'm still writing poems about what it would feel like to
strangle you in your sleep,
Just so you'd know how it feels.

I still wake up some nights,
choking
on that time you said
if you could be anyone you'd crawl into my skin
and live in it,
if only so you could call me crazy
and know you were right.

(Only in my dreams do I tell you
that was the nicest thing anyone had ever said to me)


Sometimes I forget my bed is a time machine,
turning scar to scab and scab to blood.
I'm a magic trick, I'm a razor blade,
turn me sideways and watch them
disappear.
To the people who only talk to me in my memories.
amber Jul 2018
I haven't seen your face
in days
we know it is better
this way

...I haven't seen your face
in years
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