Wind whistling
Storm raging
Running through the night

Prowling through the dense grasses
Guns loaded
Cocked and ready to fire
In position
Awaiting the command to fire

A camisado
Bursting into the night
Bullets a cascade
Shells raining down
Crying out into vastness

When all is over and lost
Daylight ends
All turns back
To the time of chaos

Running and screaming
One is numb
Walking when all else havoc
Lost in the madness
Crawling across the ground
Into hiding
Then
Pounding of a skull
Over and over
Yet
There is no marks
Only pain

After the battle
After the war
The private battle scars
Salty rivers flow
Carving canyons
Which soon fade
Back to plains
Found and coaxed out
Wrapped in warmth
Fed comfort
Yet
Internally
It is rejected

Information
Flowing in
A holding of the hand
A little fragile
O the one
Trying to go down
Found and halted
Escaping
Captured and taken
Gone away

Time later
Still haunting
Flashbacks
Festering and consuming
Until nothing is left
But the vastness.

- Jay M
September 10th, 2019

A part of me died
When my brother
Was laying motionless
In a yellow shirt

It's an image
That
Won't
Go
Away

the night in november
when he took me from me
i always remember it
all the other times bob up and down
in the sea that is my mind
but that day is steady
it is always there
the red
it is burnt into the backs of my eyes
the red of my shirt
the red of the chair he ****** me over
the red of my blood, persistent
the sting was red
the sky was red
that day has gained power with time
after it happened i just showered and went to sleep
numb
but since
it has become as sure a presence as the sun in the sky
no one can touch me
no one can look at me
if i never let anyone close,
no one can take me from me again

The troubled serpent seeks me
in the dimness of the night,
in the luminescence of stars,
in the hallowed shadows;
it asks me to relive
and I beg of him,
saying,
was eve eating the apple
not enough?

I don’t know of what sins
you think I may have
or will commit,
but must I, too,
suffer for the ones others did?
Why do I have to constantly
be in a headspace that allows
for these things to happen
over and over,
when I was not the one
to keep taking bites of forbidden fruits?

Didn’t know,
there were so,
many people our there,

I thank you,
you’re welcome,
now we can drink,

incredibly perfect,
choice present,
5D HDTV
actions with intent,

hello,
it’s the man in the mirror again,
what does it mean does it mean anything,
just relax take a seat have a drink,

try some marzipan or better yet try again,
but wait what about marscopone,

catching the time watching it go by on the mirror clock,

“Are you okay,
you look a little tired.”,
“yeah I’m fine.”,
I reply,

never wanted to **** a man,
even if he had it coming,
and he did,
bring out the dogs and get the cats to quit complaining,

it’s raining cats and dogs,
open the box don’t wake up on your death bed with regrets,
I’ve killed men in service of my country,
God bless the USA stars and stripes promises and threats,

and I’d say there’s a conspiracy,
at least that’s my guess,
and I almost know what I’m doing here,
but I don’t quite know yet,

didn’t know,
there were so,
many people our there,

I thank you,
you’re welcome,
now we can drink…

∆ LaLux ∆

Body, you had no suitor
When honesty is lost
courage could not have been misplaced worse
  by anyone else  
than my failures.

We never belonged-
A wallflower
to the dance of life.

Happiness, you are too big of a concept
For this head.
I dreamt of you in dances,
Being dipped into the sunlight.
Reborn by possibility
and bathing in the glow
that could handle the portrayal of a shadow
so dark

Shadow, you will soon feed
And I shall be consumed,
just  as you wanted.
Light, I wish I would have asked,
For your blessing.

Lying on the bathroom floor,
blade resting on the sink.
Unsure how to get up,
I feel myself begin to shrink.

Bloodied tissues looking down
on the mess lying below.
Beaded drops continue to form,
until heavily the must flow.

Shivering against the cold,
damp towel draped over.
Naked body frozen in fear,
flashbacks still they hover.

Passed out from exhaustion
of the war raging inside.
Help comes to pick me up,
instead I wish I'd died.

Hollow, deep and empty;
Welcoming to the dark.
Hollow, deep and empty;
Wishing to make my mark.
Hollow, deep and empty;
The flashbacks begin to start.
Hollow, deep and empty;
These scars are not a work of art.

I’m sick
And I’m tired
I’m eating my words
As they dance on my tongue
Making me squirm as they turn
Oh I’m biting
I’m chewing
Simply swallowing my pride
For I can’t say how I feel
No matter how hard I’ve tried
For they pin me
They ***** me
Puncturing my mind
As I sit here and silence
Muted like a mime
I can’t say it
I fear it
The version that you’ll see
If I emit all of these feelings
My caged memories
For they haunt me
They taunt me
Like a stained porcelain tub
You can’t rid it of residue
No matter how hard you scrub
That’s my mind
They’re my eyes
Tinted a light shade of blue
As eroded as these beaches
I’m drowning from you
Your fingers
They’ve grabbed me
Now bruising my soul
How can one escape from your grasp-
I just long to feel whole
For it was physical
Now emotional
Unsure which one is worse
See these flashbacks you’ve gifted me
Were your most vicious curse


                               Alysia Marie 2018 ©