even as the chill of past souls
reverberates through my bones,
warning me to watch my back,
I want to join hands with a soul
and stare into its windows,
hear its ring of solid truth,
and feel its warmth on my skin.

firstly, i felt like the first sunbeam every morning lighting up every little bee that jumps from a flower to another.
now i realised
i feel for you what the moon feels for the sun. endless love, day and night, so close and also so far. so cold and so warm, so bright but so dark.
i wanna show this to the whole universe.
i wanna open my heart.
but i dont know if what im feeling, is that which we call love.
the only thing i know tho is that the moon never meets the sun, but she still shines every night for him so he can love her back.
so imma shine bright like that little ball in my sky, so whenever you look up,
ill be there.
always by your side.

after death
is there anything
but the soft patter
of the kitten's paws
against kitchen tiles
searching for its owner

is there anything
but the children
who run across the playground laughing
unknowing of what awaits them
what overturned tables
what fogged car mirrors

is there anything
but the memories
falling like gentle snow
across graveyards and families
who will be there someday
forgotten as well

is there anything
but silence in the unloved
early hours of the morning
as the stars blink
out one by one
finally above the weather

these sheets so incredibly warm
wicked, yes, i think the window is shattered
like everything else in my writing, my
pain
it is shattered
covered, tossed aside
i feel better alone
there is nothing of value in the present
i am the 5 am paranoia kicking in,
the work lying there on my desk
as time ticks past its due date
each line in the wood floor
watered by tears
there is
nothing of value
anywhere

Sometimes I feel they don't want to see me.
Sometimes I feel they don't want to see me around them.
Sometimes I feel I need more light even I just have a little.
Sometimes I need the way I can see myself even when I always get lost in many darkness.
Sometimes I feel  I am bad when I am doing something and they want me to be perfect one.
Sometimes I feel I always do wrong.
And
Why?
Sometimes,
I write
and cry
and also pray.