It's haunting to date in Chicago,
where the ghost of us yet lingers.
I dream of a universe where all of
our dates replay endlessly,
and that terrifies me,
but I also find comfort in thinking
that somewhere in the vagueness
of a sunset we wander the river
endlessly in love.
Why am I slowly drifting towards you?
Why do I always keep coming back to you?
Why is there an endless urge to hear you?
Why do I gain strength from
your words and feel as if you sparked my soul?
Why do I believe in you so much?
Never met or seen or touched,
Why do I relate so much?
Why's there an unseen knot?
Why do I think of you a lot?
Why can't I stop asking 'why'?
Somehow we opened each other's hermetic hearts.
Our perspicuous love rippled across the cosmos.
Distancing ourselves from the turpitude of the world.
Hermetic- sealed so as to be air tight. Perspicuous- clearly expressed. Turpitude- depravity, wickedness, corruption, evilness.
I heard the wind rustle the trees,
Yet I saw but stillness in the leaves
I heard the songs of little birds,
But saw no feathers amongst the green
The ground was laid with footprints of fellow men
But I followed in circles,
And I found no one to take these steps
The ponds rippled with no fish,
The grass croaked with no throats
Then when I left the lonely living woods,
I found a wall with no end
Too tall to be climbed,
Too strong to be broken
I walked the wall for half an eternity,
I walked each trail and path for another
I found no start or finish
No one and nothing
It was me,
and I was it.
Every morning I put words together
The words are supposed to have meaning
The meanings are to be felt by you
The feelings of the words should be personal to you
Each of you looks at the words from a different view
The view is vast and endless
And so it goes on....
The endless and vast world of words
Brian Hill - 2019 # 189
What do you feel?
We are an atom built within the galaxy
Wander and mingle for the sake of acceptance only
Sacrificing the only thing we own to get to the zero gravity
Hence, is it all really worthy?
Once again I have this dream
Over and over it continues to scream
But when everything has been said
The only thing that remains is the dead
Who raid the insides of my head
This night seems endless -
when all I can do, is to look at you
I walk into this endless void
Wondering why am I even here
I've turned entirely different
This carefree, chilling guy is me now
I'm dancing my way through this
I'm way more happy than I ever was
The monotony of this void excites me
By every minute, I am being absorbed
Into this never ending nightmare
There's no end to this
But I'm becoming a part of this
Fragments of my soul are getting
Embedded into this vagueness
Now, I'm nothing
Just like the void
I’m so sorry, Lord
I failed again
Even though I say I’m trying
It feels like I can’t
I can’t try
And I fail
All the while I carry this cross
The weight seems so heavy to bear
And I stacked on the pounds
I was not unaware
But surprised when the last grain of rice tipped the scale
And I look back to see myself having failed
And then I stop and I think
(Not to dissipate the guilt,
But to accept my fate)
It was never written or taught
That you never tripped while you walked
Carrying your cross
To Calvary— for me.
And for a time even, you allowed
A friend to carry the weight
You, even, were not alone in your feat.
I will look and behold
But strengthen my neck
To hold it up
Help lift my cross
So that I am not crushed
I want to dwell in your glory
But what do I know of Holy?
A year ago this was not me,
Somehow my direction changed
And slowly I turned from your face
And once you were just an arms length away
And now I’m in a valley
Looking miles up the Hill
Where you died for me
Today I am not the woman weeping
At your feet
But my Lord and God
I long to be
It was me
who nailed your hands and your feet.
Please, forgive me.
Forgive me Lord
It was me.
I am the cause of your sufferings.
Please show me what it is I need
To do to come to your mercy seat
Lead my feet And hold me
I will walk the road to Calvary
Or I will walk the road you paved for me.
I will collapse at your feet, begging,
Please forgive me.
I understand the one
Who washed your feet with her tears
And dried them with her hair
She saw your glory
And perhaps her misdeeds
And like so many heard
I long to hear the words
“Take up thy bed and walk”
Or, “thy sins are forgiven thee”
I will not pray,
“Please save me”
But “you have saved me.
Now please, please,
Make me more worthy
I know it might hurt
Cleaning the wounds imbedded with dirt
But you will wash me.