What I am,
Is not what you are,
Because unlike you, I never was human.
Never was able to really feel emotions, which you all adore,
Been called a demon for that reason, a monster which was deserted,
Emptiness, calm and drenched in the sorrow of never fitting in is what embellishes me, an ornament of true, cruel sadness, undetected.
And yes, I don't understand you, perhaps I don't even want to, knowing what humans are like, I accepted my fate of being alone,
I let my fingernails grow long and sharp to at least fit into the picture of a monster you have put me, because what else do I have left ?
A heart, perhaps which desires to take those under its wing whom suffered the same tragity, orphans with no place or rejected, abused.
And a body, carrying a thousand marks done by a knife, or these nails, in a cold desperate wishing to be normal at least for a day, to not be alone and deserted, with no one left to talk but a silly pen, a pocket watch which is about to stop ticking calmly, gently very soon.
An ember of light, triggers some emotions at rare occasions, which fade into nothingness as the day begins to face it's end, ah, phantoms
So, what I am,
Is not what you are,
Because I am...
A demon.

~ Umi

Death

Death is something I want
          But can’t bring myself to take
Love
          Is something I lost
             But can’t seem to let go of
And time

         Time is where I drift, lost
                Not knowing any way or
                               place I see

     Forever stuck in between

Keep it together
That's all you ever do
Say you have a breaking point
But you know that isn't true

Fake emotions all the time
That's why you never really cry

Pretend that you can assoicate
Last time you could was when you were eight

Now you are an outsider
And you're better off because you are

Metropolitans **** sensitivity
Cold concrete we stomp with our feet
Glare a path straight above you
Disregard the eyes that surround you
Keep moving and pushing through the pain
We're so hardened we don't even feel the wetness of the rain
We can't AFFORD to feel
There's no time to even feel real
An emotionless society
We drown our sorrows away
**** sobriety
Numb us whole
Our hearts hollow and dark,
just like a hole

I thought my love for you was an earthquake
Rupturing in my soul
But as soon as I send this thought into the
Oblivion of my mind
Stuff this thought into a
Bottle and send it down the river,
I expected that I’d surely find it again someday,
But for now,
I no longer can feel
The moving earth pounding my head
Every second of every day.

That was the point of this all, you know
I wanted the emotion gone
Couldn’t handle the aftershocks that would ripple
And threaten to undo the careful
Knots that I had tied
To hold up my shield I need to hide behind.
I didn’t realize, though,
That the river opens up to the ocean
And the bottle keeps moving through and through and through
Until the tether of the emotion to the words
Is severed, gone.

There is no more flowing magma underneath my surface
That threatens to bubble up and over,
And once I thought this was what I desired
When I sent my emotions out to sea
But now all I feel is cut in half,
Incomplete.
The rest of me can’t live without its life source
Which somehow got severed along with my ties to you.
I wish it didn’t have to be this way
But now I’m floating in space
No air to breathe
Hoping and wishing and waiting
For the nebulas to send me into oblivion
Or perhaps back home again.

You say im part of something , but never felt like it
You say im happy, but you don’t know how I feel
You think im happy go lucky , but inside im crumbling
You say im shy but its just my insecurities
You say im rich , but never did I say it
You say my parents are wealthy but I doubt it too
You all look happy but I know that’s just plastic
You look like plastic , hard as Tupperware too
You say you are understanding never did i feel it
Only from a person did I get it
You think im emotionless , dead alive and true
Inside im dead and outside too
I do have emotions but most are not true
I hate most of you
Because you hate me too
That’s a fact and you know it
You say I should **** myself , shouldn’t you too?