Torches march alone
Deep inside the stone wall
That imprisons me.

A drastic change
Comes from the heart
Tearing strings
Like guitar picks

I’m dying,
Aren’t I?
Starvation fills my body
When I wake
Even though I had a full plate

Surely it’s not the
Sporadic over drinking
To chase a numb
Or catch a high
From ghost peppers

Why does this pain
Seem chronic
And more often
Than less recent?

What am I to do
But question the sky
And falter?
I know not of the answer.

The arrival of life
Something new is beginning
Before my very eyes
The world does not try to hide it
I’ll be replaced even before I’m buried
But I do not resent you
I’m not jealous of what I’ll miss
I’ve already lived my lifetime
And that’s all anybody gets.

My body slows
As gravity has it’s way with me
My mind is slowing too
Slowly the neural network is going dark
And with everything slowing down
What does time do?
It races ever faster
Our first day was longer than last week.

The page is turned once again
As a eulogy of winter is recited
While the weather outside steadily
Changes the season
As the sun seems to shift
Towards the North
Until it reaches its maximum height in the sky.

I see the leaves regain life
And flowers sprout from the ground
Blossoming the earth
With new shades.
The Vernal ground develops
As I can see the dirt slowly begin to give
Between my feet
As the ground in which I stand
Has no seasons.
Its nature is unknown
And already it rots at my feet
It’s as though even nature
Has an understanding
That soon is my time to go.

The French call an ******
“la petite mort” or “the little death”

tango with lips, teeth, and tongue
undress each other with our eyes
an unspoken agreement that
we’re both dying a little tonight

because when i get what i want
i don't want it anymore
when i write
my words aren't pretty
i don't speak in symbols
or talk about the moon and sun and stars
im dying
without love or beauty inside me

there was something i wanted write
some thing i wanted to make right
but in the end, i lost sight
and moved on

there were many things i wished to do
many a thing that would've borne fruit
but nearer the finish, my light grew dimmish
so i moved on

you told me there was never
an answer to the question "forever"
but death knows different
because we move on

and there is no trying now
no sense in staving off the dying, anyhow
a distance merchant comes to pick up his purchase
of a bid you can't out

Death comes quickly now with deceit
Azrael's swift ****** and repeat
No time even to check his receipts
Where is the forty days' notice?
Covid. the Avatar's fatal diagnosis

Perpetual mourning is our daily hymn
As we dance to the Viral god's rhythm
No end to these incessant chords
Or spiraling treatment algorithms
  
A requiem for the abundant life force taken
Unceasing cantata from the earth's broken
The dark composition's erratic notes
Orchestrated death, or science hoax?

We don't need fireworks to end the year
But answers and solutions to our fears
Ring the world's religious bells instead
For a shrouded New Years lies ahead

Peace to the departed too soon

Winter 2021