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Antonia Sep 2024
I’m feeling heavier than iron
my chest, my arms, my legs
feel numb
it feels impossible to breathe
like i am deep under the water

and i could hear my body sinking
the lungs,
now slowly filling up with liquid

no hope.

just death in sight

my tongue is stuck,
my hands are tight,
i feel the weight
of my mistakes

i  just so desperately want
to get some air and breathe again

but not this time,
my demon says

as I am drowning
once again
this is how a panic attack feels for me, haven’t had one in a while, but it used to be the norm when I was younger. If you’re going through tough times, just know they never last. I am doing much better now, and hopefully you can take this as a message of hope. Things do get better, just hang in there, stop running from your feelings, the only way out, is through.
Morgan Howard Sep 2024
Drowning in the depths of despair
Suffocating
As I sink deeper and deeper
I hold my breath
And grasp on to a sliver of hope
That someone will rescue me
Lyla Sep 2024
Imprisoned clouds, waiting to fly,
Held back by a willowed, sandy bank:
The river, green and clear as an eye.
Its silent depths enticed us to pry.
Into the liquid dungeon we slank,
Imprisoned clouds, waiting to fly.

There we discovered we could scry,
And so greedily we drank
The river, green and clear as an eye.

Our brains ceased to electrify,
Souls fusing with those dank
Imprisoned clouds, waiting to fly.

Now bloated, white, we putrefy,
For we could not outflank
The river, green and clear as an eye.

Deliverer of fate we can’t defy,
But for our new life we thank
Imprisoned clouds, waiting to fly:
The river, green and clear as an eye.
A villanelle from 2022...the first I had written in a very long time.
Dylan Sep 2024
Place one hand on my shoulder
and guide my head under
You welcomed me to the world
so let me drown at your fault
Smile at me faintly as the waves
ripple over my eyes and fill my lungs
Like a babe being baptised
you hold the back of my skull
Now, not to keep me from drowning
but to show me your gentle touch
As my body erupts in panic, I flail
I feel your love
And for the slights you caused
I feel your sorrow
But I am too far gone, no longer
needing your hands to keep me afloat
Or to hold me under
2020 was a dark place, lately I feel myself returning to that place (to that mentality, and I feel her at the centre of my issues)
QueenOfTheAshes Aug 2024
I barged in and faked a smile
I could have bet on a little dime
That I was promised, I was cherished
But all I ended up being was
Perished.

You let me down and dug the ground
Built a grave and made no sound
Smirked at me like a filthy hound
Can you blame me now
For wanting him to drown?

And so I did the same
Dug the ground underneath his
Pool of shame.
The water so comforting
Against him seems to be plotting.

Look at me and don't lie
I wanted you to die
And you did the same and I bet
That you're still caught in the same net.
It's as sad as it gets...
To behold the world out there
Bursting with magnificent colours
While I'm comfortably stuck
On the other side of the glass
Drowning in my own inertia
A few words about getting older. About everyday struggles and how futile they seem. Maybe society is just built to glue us to the ground... or maybe there's just something wrong with me.
Alex Aug 2024
I am fully submerged in water,
And everyone keeps asking if I need help...
Can’t they see?
I can’t speak underwater,
I can’t even breathe.
Their voices reach me like distant echoes,
Muffled and distorted, barely breaking through.

They see the surface, the calm above,
But beneath, I’m lost in the deep, cold blue.
I’m drowning silently, unable to cry out,
The weight of the water pulling me down,
Each breath I try to take fills me with fear,
Yet they stand on the shore, asking if I need a hand.

I flail beneath the surface, my movements frantic,
But to them, it’s just a ripple, a disturbance,
They don’t see the panic in my eyes,
The desperation in my lungs,
They only see what lies above,
A placid reflection of a struggle unseen.

They ask if I’m okay, if I need saving,
But I’m too far gone to give a reply,
My lungs scream for air, my heart pounds in my chest,
Yet all they see is the stillness, not the struggle inside,
They offer lifelines that I can’t reach,
Words of comfort that never penetrate the waves.

I try to call out, but my voice is lost,
Swallowed by the abyss,
My pleas dissolve in the water,
Leaving nothing but silence in their wake,
And I’m left to fight this battle alone,
In the quiet darkness where no one else dares to wade.

Can’t they see?
I can’t speak underwater,
I can’t even breathe,
And the silence is all-consuming,
As I sink deeper into the unseen,
My thoughts grow heavy, my vision blurs,
And I wonder how much longer I can hold on

.They offer lifelines that I can’t grasp,
Their words of concern like distant stars,
Faint and unreachable,
And I’m left to drift in this sea of despair,
Hoping for someone to dive in,
To pull me out of this endless silence.

I am fully submerged,
And all I need is someone to dive in,
To break this endless quiet,
But all they do is ask if I’m okay,
While I drown in words unspoken,
In a battle fought in the deep,
Where no one sees, no one hears,
And I am left to fight alone.
4 migraine later🥲
Abi Winder Aug 2024
i am most afraid of heights.
and the ocean.
and the vastness of the desert.

i’m also afraid of spiders,
and snakes,
and all things that bite.

i’m afraid of drowning.
of being buried alive.
of fire.

i’m afraid of failure.
of letting people down.
of never achieving anything good.

i'm terrified of dying,
and choking on my words
and feeling this pit in my stomach forever.
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