Don’t ask me to thank you
For splintering me apart
Until I am only slivers
To pick your teeth with
Jagged are these words
And I am the one torn
Tape only lasts so long
Then you are falling apart again
So keep your promises
Your actions tell me otherwise

who is she?
i’m not saying that in a cute, quirky, self-confident way either, like
genuinely, who is she?
i don’t remember when i morphed from a
bony, pimply, bowlegged teen into a
soft, dimpled, hunchbacked “adult”.
there are still remnants of her--
my forehead still bears the marks of farms of blackheads
and my collarbones are still visible when i allow them to be--
but her
this “woman”
looking back at me is still as foreign as blood pudding.
i still feel the same, relatively, as i did when i was 5 years younger.
i still tend to wear clothes that are comfortable over flattering.
i still feel my stomach tied into itself at the thought of making a doctor’s appointment on my own.
i still feel like me.
but her?
i don’t recognize her.

If this life was meant to be this empty without you, then maybe our love was never true, but if it was, and it were the times that brought us apart, I wish that in the next life, I meet you.

~bb

Seed planted
lost lands of confusion
meandering the field of persuasion
the well watered words wearily sewn
out of proportion the yeast expands
yesterdays horizon vast and plentiful
today's frayed threads coming loose

Feeling insecure?
That’s no reason to gossip about the others and be rude
Feeling two-faced?
That’s no reason to blame others and be rude
Have no self-respect?
That’s no reason to disrespect others and be rude
Have crippling self-doubt?
That’s no reason to doubt others and be rude

Rude to yourself?
That’s no reason to be rude to the others

Your talents and intelligent was a treasure.
You were a great artist even if you weren't sure.
You are a beautiful gift given by the heaven,
So put a smile that will struck a maiden.

Loneliness claws at my insides
scraping with talon-like fingernails,
engraving the same message
over and over again:

"You'll never be enough.
If somebody wanted you,
wouldn't they have found you by now?"

Confidence is our masquerade,
dancers hiding behind their porcelain shields,
telling themselves they're fine
until lies drip crimson.

"I'm not sad, I'm not scared.
I know what I'm doing.
I'm happy with my life."

Our pet demons watch from every angle,
whispering as they read what's in our thoughts.
We fed them with our misery,
tamed them with our complacency.

"They keep trying to move forward,
but what's the point
of struggling through the sludge?"

Hands reach out,
will you accept them?
Marinating in your despair
has been your existence for so long.

Is it too late to change that?

Uneven
Without substance, void of faith
Unresolved
Seeking facts among the fiction
Untapped
For the price seems too steep
Unfavored
Privilege lost that was never had
This heart is blackstone, hollow within
Day to day, sinking further down
Useless
Fake a smile of sincerity,
For all the world's a stage, and we are but merely actors
Or whatever Shakespeare meant.
Reveal yourself, masked man
Uncover the fear you bring
In a cloak of anxiety and dread
For these lay dormant yet dominant within this vessel
From this side of the mirror, it is all you will ever see