As a fan of new beginnings,
I would like an end
To this existence made of dolls
All "perfect" and pretend

As fragile as the china that is the fabric
Woven into their souls
But not over the pit of hatred within
That emits through the holes

Pulsating wavelengths of bitter hatred
Black, odious and vile
An energy, the negative charge
That turns down many a smile

The friction within the air
That could tear it apart so easily
But is resisted by social norms...
"Perfection", all pretend..

So pick me up and let me fall
So I may shatter myself into pieces
That may reform into something better
Hiding away in niches...

*Afraid of confrontation and inspection, too strong....

My eyes are windows to the living,
I am not dead yet,
Beyond the dead , I'm alive,
Alive child,
A wild child.

My brows mean as MuMu says
"Look into my eyes chile!"

My mental state is a dollhouse...
I play out scenes in my mind,
As I'm seeing my way out the windows...
Out of the window and into your worlds,
Different stories,
Your alive just like I...
You know in a way we are alike,
You & Me.
Our souls brings the best of feelings,
Flowers blooming in the spring,
Oh i wish ...
I close my windows,
& my dollies fall back into an abyss,
Chained away in a rusty old treasure chest,

Oh God, Dear God,
How can i make a dollhouse for the dollies to live in,
I'm alive ,
But my dollies are in a chest of sin,
I want to break the ribs and reach in to save my ole' friends,
They are plastic but they are my only kin,
**** they are my best friends,

Lips big as blow up dolls,
Their body weight is 80% of alcohol,
It's how i made them...
Their clothes are made out of
The blood I bathe in,
Latex leggings and waist clinchers,
Pale as the purest sand,
Balloon fake ****,
Contoured cheekbones,
You would think they were Bratz clones...

My dollies need a H.O.M.E

Little rag doll in poses I place, smiles non linear
lipstick is smeared not as it should be perfection
is not on the features as statically smiling.

Meagerly patched doll how you are in my thoughts.
Knotted hair ill placed bobbles that don't show
the best of the features frozen on your hollow face.

mismatched clothes not in a way a woman of choosing
would place, odd socks an ankle one, poppy long stocking
contrasting is size and colour but you'll never know.

I look at you, a Picasso of imagery displaced on your face.
Looking like you got dressed in the closet blindfolded and
alone. My little rag doll I strategic leave in a lonely place.

I collect these porcine eyes drained of essence, I open
your thoughts and they are discarded in a bag.
Later your thoughts will feed my hungry dog.

I leave you empty vacant as you should be, my rag doll
with uninhabited motivation. hollowed shell of what you
used to be, blank stares between you and me go silently.

They find my dolls in there houses distorted like my
vison of how sights are seen. A play house of disillusion,
my dolls are my creations come will you be a rag doll for me.

I want to be a doll.
a doll doesn't need.
a doll is simply just
whatever it was made to be.

A raggedy old doll,
all ***** and dusty,
lying on the floor of old cabin.
When snuggled at night,
he sat up and sang,
a verse of the spellbook
of Sabians!

“Golden-haired the raven!”

“My heart warmed of her presence,”

“Golden-haired the raven!”

“Her flowering scents so pleasant,”

“Golden-haired the raven!”

“My mind about a treasure,”

“Golden-haired the raven!”

“My fortune is her pleasure,”

“Golden-haired the raven!”

“Lost I am you see?”

“Golden-haired the raven!”

“Sun-ray crowned was she!”

“Golden-haired the raven!”

“Oh golden haired my raven!”

Just before dawn,
he sat up in bed,
to look upon his
new little girl.
Shined-up his button eyes,
and tilted his head…
then snuggled back into her curls.

You've put me in your doll house.
Plastic furniture
cardboard walls
Surround me. Smother me.

There are other dolls here, too.
waiting.
like me.
To be picked.

I see your hand come towards me
Finally. You pick me.

Your rough fingers curl around my waist
lifting me to what seems like an endless sky

My hair bouncing in the wind
my eyes looking at you
always looking at you.

We do what we always do.
Sit out by the water
you making jokes, me singing songs.
You caress my cheek
You kiss me.

You never kiss me..
Maybe this means something.
Maybe I wont have to go back

I see him stand
oh no
he folds up the blanket we've been laying on
please don't make me go back
I feel his rough fingers curl around my waist
let me stay

I couldn't look at him
the whole way back.
What did I do?
Was I a bad kisser?
Did he regret picking me this time?

He places me back into the doll house.
I look into his eyes, pleading, begging
for him to give me answers.

Instead
He curls his rough fingers around the waist
of the doll next to me.
Lifts her up, and kisses her cheek.

He's never done that with me.

I watch as they both disappear into the distance.

Every time I see him leave with a different doll,
I can feel my skin harden
my skin becoming shinier

He's transforming me into something I'm not
Plastic.

Maybe thats what he wants. Plastic dolls.
Dolls waiting for his attention.
Dolls at his disposal.

I don't want that.
I want to be free.

But, I want him to love me.

All I can do now, is wait.
Wait for him to pick me again.
To play with me again.

Blow out each candle
Your party is over now, babe
Wrapping paper walls
What a mess!
Your hourglass shattered
Time has run out!
No need to cry,
It’s just spilled milk!

Why is your doll grinning?
Does she know something?
Something I can’t find?
Be quiet darling, your father’s coming
Forgotten but certainly not gone!
If he breaks the walls down
We will build more!
Candy houses need less repair
Simply frost our pieces together!
Nobody remembers us, anyway
We’ve been gone for years now
Just drink your tea, baby
Don’t listen to this man.

You can scream loud like a siren
Just wait until he leaves!
Put on your dress and be a good girl
Don’t make eye contact
Smile!
Hide your wrist, baby
Don’t let the man see
We’ll play once he leaves
Just down more syrup
And you’ll slumber soon
Say hello to daddy’s ****
She’s here for a bit, not long though
Just be nice to her, baby
I know she’s all plastic
And I know he reeks of gin
Just try to smile, baby
They’re only here for a while.
We’ll be gone soon!
Just eat your cake.