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David Mikosz Jul 2019
My life with you then
is like watching clouds now.
So far away and so elaborate
But the meaning so simple.

I had burned so much of myself
to make a fire that I thought was shared.
But the chilling breeze of utter apathy
Overcame any friendship and love.

Clouds float away to parts unknown
They shift to follow the latest wind.
To me the love felt real
But you yourself are insubstantial.

I want to feel anger for what you did
But to rail against you is pointless.
You will drift from arm to arm
Not wanting to feel the real.

So I will watch you float through life
and realize we were different elements.
I don't yet know what I am
But real and present I will be.
the divorce is almost finalized.   I am starting to meet people but so surprised and hurt how quickly she has moved on.  I know I need to continue my growth and learn more about me before I can be with another.
Esmé Jul 2019
You held the door as I walked away.
You never once begged me to stay.
Everyone is looking at me like I’ve abandoned you.
When you never even tried to pull me
back through.
How dare you try and blame it all on me.
Maybe someday you will finally see.
I changed every bit of who I was to make you happy.
Though when I was hurting, you couldn’t help me.
I tried to be everything you ever wanted.
I was never enough, and now I’m exhausted.
After all the years we spent as one,
I cannot go on, I am done.
Cameron Jun 2019
It always seems so close.
Close enough where you can feel the warmth of love.
Close enough where you can hear the sounds of peace.
Close enough where you can smell the scent of serenity
Close enough where you can see those you love smiling at your face.
Close enough where you can taste your best memories as if for the first time.
Close enough…


But then you’re dragged back down that dark tunnel.


Love turns to enmity.
Peace turns into chaos.
Serenity turns into turmoil.
Smiles turn to sneers.
Memories become bittersweet.
The spoken words are nearly always the cause…


The warmth is lost.
The words replaced them with daggers in my stomach.
The peace is lost,
The words replaced them with sorrow in my soul.
The serenity is lost.
The words replaced them with a ***** under each of my fingernails.
The smiles are lost.
The words replaced them with with dark, malignant, expressions
The memories still hang on.
They are the salt in my wounds.


Power is what’s needed to get what you want, to argue, to fight.
Power is something I lack.
Everytime I fight, I lose.
Fear is allowed to take root.
Fear that I am tearing my family in half.
Fear that I am favoring either she or him.
I don’t know…


I don’t know…


“I don’t know…” is a weight I carry around daily.
It’s a steel ball-and-chain around my ankle.
I don’t know how to fight for what I want.
I don’t know how to be neutral.
I don’t know how to make things right.
I try as hard as I can, but I just simply can’t succeed.
I need both she and him to understand that I tear myself in two for both of them.
Everyday it hurts, but I do it anyway.


I do it to feel the warmth of love.
I do it to hear the sounds of peace.
I do it to smell the scent of serenity
I do it to see those I love smiling at my face.
I do it to ******* best memories as if for the first time.


I’m almost at the end of the tunnel.
For a moment, I am hopeful.
Then, right on the brink, the edge of permanent happiness and peace.
I get dragged right back to the start.
Dragged back in tears.


“It isn’t fair,” I thought.
I’ve been dragged back so many times.
I’ve hoped for the moon, and was given a rock.
All of these years of anxiety and hoping for peace between her, him, and I...
Well I’ve finally given up, and accepted it.


I’ll never pass through the light at the end of the tunnel.
But I used to hope...
Steve Jun 2019
A shocking revelatory letter is presented
The tone goes from thanks to regret
while the hurricane spins in her head
The pharmacology reconnected synapses,
morphing her soul, keeping her in bed

He realizes she’s letting go for him,
she’s done this before
She can’t figure out how to love him any more

Months later he realized the person
he thought he loved was just a mirror
She never knew her true self
Maybe she never will
This is my very first poem.
I’m the queen of self-destruction
watching each bridge go up in flames.
A basket case of pure dysfunction
torturing others with my childish games.

I’m the perfect psychological warfare
collecting broken hearts along the way.
A gorgeously horrifying nightmare
waiting for my next vulnerable prey.

I'm the monster you lured into light
after you showed me how worthless I am.
A poisonous snake ready to bite
leaving ****** ring fingers in the sand.

I’m the swinging wrecking ball
destroying everything I can see.
A broken mess on a spiraling fall
after loving you nearly killed me.
I wrote this a while back when my divorce and separation was still fresh and I went through a phase of very self destructive behavior.
Caro Jun 2019
I’m never ***** anymore 
I used to drip onto the floor
Libido was higher, more, my core.

But I suppose, no, it was not.
Because it waned 
Yet 
I remained.
Yet
I miss being effortlessly wet.

I know, I know
It’s in my head. 

But maybe mostly it’s the bed?

Say, what’s different about my bedding?
Is it that I had a wedding?
And now,
Linens my sister gifted my ring and I
Sacrificed
Sprawled beneath some other guy
Another lover

Oh! dear, I’ve blown my cover.
Oh poor dear, my mother.
I'm a disgrace,
A divorce, at my age?

So, is that what stole my soak?

You know, you shouldn't marry a man,
You don't really know.

Is that what dried my dripping *****,

A quick ****,
From a new husband,
Who wouldn't hear no.

No.

It couldn’t be.

Far too simple for my psyche
Lou Gato Jun 2019
When do I get some Peace?
when can I get some Love?
when do I get to Sleep?


Since infancy,
I just always looked at life differently,
Everything’s epiphanies,
wouldn't accept what they’d give to me,
I would always question,  
had to know the history,
If I couldnt get that,
it became a mystery,
Had to connect the dots,
Had to make it make sense to me,
Unanswered questions,
are like open files on desks to me,
the more I let pile up the less I get done efficiently,
Heavy in my thoughts I don’t need no competition please,
Everything I’ve ever wanted, I thought of, and it's come to be,
I’m going retire at 42 like it was meant for me,
I been saying that since 23 with the only difference being,
I believe it NOW MORE than ever in history.
just rambling....
Lou Gato Jun 2019
==============================
Poppa was a rolling stone,
but you know Poppa never neglects home,
Poppa handled all his things,
and still made time for his guitar strings
==============================

Poppa was a rolling stone,
but Poppa always came back home,
Poppa always did whats right,
and always tucked you in at night,

Poppa always stood for truth,
he would not have be no other way,
Poppa could have chosen to go,
instead your Poppa chose to stay

==============================
Poppa was a rolling stone,
but you know Poppa never neglects home,
Poppa handled all his things,
and still made time for his guitar strings
==============================

Poppa was a rolling stone,
but Poppa couldn't come back home,
Poppa tried to do whats right,
sometimes he couldn't tuck you in at night,

Poppa tried to stand for truth,
but as a man, Poppa made mistakes,
Poppa didn't want to go,
but Poppa could not longer stay...

Poppa was a rolling stone......
this is actually a song I wrote, and recorded for myself privately, I struggled with many different emotions during initial separation, but my main focus was to be the best father I could be while being limited to how much I could see them. hard for a real father to move forward from something like this without it taking some toll on you. it made me question myself as a parent.
Jason Drury Jun 2019
To those who ache,
rusted by love.
Breathe.

When you are standing,
shinny and new.
Breathe.

When you are ready,
scramble the sharp rocks.
And Breathe.

When you find yourself,
Tell yourself to,
breathe.

Find the breathe of you,
and keep breathing.
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