Destined
—not to be loved

as I feel I need
as I deserve
as my sentimental verve
tells me I should
as I want
as my wanton
heart craves
as a memorable romance
as an everlasting dance
a roaring tide, a flood


(resist if you dare,
it's my mood)


Now —no more waves
in this still sea —silent

only a blackened
lover's soul —sunken
(I should have run faster)

the aftermath
of a permanent
love disaster

Anger like thunder
Tears like rain
Shaking the ground
I'm a hurricane
I try even breathing
I scream and I shout
As hard as I try
I can't let it out
Nothing lasts forever
Except pain and despair
You know and I know
That I'm a nightmare
Lover take shelter
Find safety in midst the storm
Because I'm made of hell fire
But at least I'm warm

Recalling the wedding anniversary
from the disaster I'd rather forget

I haven’t written in a while,
but i guess I can blame that on your smile.
Because when you suffocate me,
everything gets blurry and I can’t breathe.
So when I can barely touch a wall
because everything is spinning and I break on the fall
how the **** should I be able to touch
pen to paper and make anything other
than a disaster of what should be words
but barely come together to form the idea
of what happens when you fall in love.

You and I were a natural disaster.
How we acted came naturally,
Though as natural as a volcano.
There is beauty in destruction.
And darling, we blew up.
We crumbled, we burned,
And we took others down with us.

The aftermath still isn't pretty,
But life is rebuilding around us.
It's avoiding the rough spots,
Still cooling off.
It's hard.
It's rocky.
It'll all come together soon, though.

I was magma, unstable, explosive.
You were the rock, the result of previous disasters.
You were simply trying to grow.
I was simply out of control.

You and I were a natural disaster.
And just like most eruptions,
We erupted when it was least expected.
Maybe now, I can cool.
I can stabilize and reform.
You can finally get the stability you need,
From a source less risky than I.

There is beauty in destruction.

There's always a place
Where the sand meets the sea,
Yet Earth's changing face
Seems so stable to me.

Nature is a maze
Mountains, deserts, and plains,
Yet we, in our craze,
Seem to enjoy its chains.

Dependence, we own
We kiss the dry soil,
Yet seeds we have sown
Seem so worth the toil.

Pains we do endure
Natural disaster,
Yet this ground's allure
Results in hereafter.

All lonesome you remain,
Within these four walls of pain,
Going on with your lies and manipulative ways,
As if, it's a child's play.

Saying things you don't want to say,
Hiding things behind your fake facade.
Asking everyone to leave you alone,
But that's not what you really want.

Needing a shoulder to cry upon,
But too bad that you've pushed everyone away.
Taking advantage of their kindness,
And throwing it back on their face.

In the end, nothing matters ,
Because after all your life was a disaster,
Though, it was a disaster you made,
Still... it's better that you ended the never ending pain.

Disaster can be enticing.
I want to be the four winds that blow
persistently - until the storm arrives.

A storm that alters the balance.
The shockwaves reverberating against the fabric of reality
impact - where I once stood.

If I were the winds.
What would there be left in my wake
destruction - before the silence.