Each day I wake up wondering if it's me who has lost you, or it's you who lost me.
Every night before my head hits the bed, I think about you. I try to conjure you up in my sleep but you, Muse, just like my dreams, steer clear away from me.
I keep wishing for you to knock at my door to shake me up from my reverie.
Break my flow,
And overwhelm me!
I know I've treated you like a ***** before, everytime you came unannounced, I sent you back; kicking and screaming like a Banshee.
With a cheap wine stain,
A woman in rage,
Working on a menial wage
Drinking until her kidneys scream out in pain
-I pass out, just like the last night and the night before.
You've left me in this reality all alone,
Without any words to hide behind.
Without any form of refuge
To keep me safe under this scrutinizing light.
I have a hurricane kept bottled inside and with each beat of my heart, I can feel the cage tremor. But you, like a narcissist; keep on laughing at my misery. You really enjoy this game: where you tug at my heart as I try to resist your influence within my brain.
I often wonder if there are any clues that you've left behind, because after all it was your mystery that had seduced my pride.
Each time I lift up the pen, my spine shivers with anticipation for you to takeover and consume my mind until every word that I scribble, bleeds with truth about the lies that you cook to keep me on your side.
I wish to carve you out of my own soul but right now it feels so hollow and cold.
I need you to set me free,
Keep me up all night and let me bleed;
Like a fresh wound that refuses to heal.
Until all these thoughts in my head finally find peace.