i was dreaming about hold my grandmother in her last second time and then she died and everyone cried. and it feels so real i can't barely breathe and when i woke up the whole world feels so strange for me.

   i hate my *mind

Maybe you’re wondering why,
Why is it so hard to pry inside,
Inside of me, inside my mind
The crevices the corners and  literally to pry inside – to get between my thighs.
Well what you see is what you get.
The first time you saw me I was with my sister and you said that
I was the one with attitude,  
And to be honest the look in our eyes was saying “I want to kiss her” (mysister)
But in the end,
Your lips were glued onto mine
Your arms around my waist.
But the smell of your girlfriend was still on your shirt
and to be frank,
I think you miss her.

Now we’re in the middle of nowhere,
You and I,
I’m lost but you seem found,
Seems as if I’m all you want
And it seems as if
not even my heart latched onto my ex’s heart could keep us apart.
I know it’s been months
but I still have hope,
I still have the string which tied our hearts,
and it’s worn and I know I should let go,
But sometimes I can see him,
Sometimes I feel him coming back
But when I get a reality check-
when someone pinches me-
when I wake up,
I realize it’s the ghost of our love in disguise.
Our love is dead gone and buried.
He has laid it to rest.
And I still visit the tombstone,
and I take roses in case the ghost of our love smells it,
and it revives you know, come back alive,
and I also cry,  
shed tears maybe they’ll drench through
and be enough to revive our love again.
I also laugh,
Because that’s how you taught me to deal with problems,
“Just laugh at them”
Maybe one day I’ll laugh too loud,
And my tummy and jawbone will hurt
And our love will revive again,
And I’ll see you popping out from behind a tree.
But those are just maybes.

---
And I’m sorry that I can’t give you my love,
I’m sorry that I can’t let you have my heart,
But I can’t let another man rip it apart.
At least let me take time to heal.
I’ll need more than a doctor and bandages.

I was supposed to for-get you.
You were supposed to be dead to me.
But piece of you remained
And when it rained
Vines crawled out of my soul to yours
Your name, found its way back to my heart.
The spiral, began all over again.
Give me a break you selfish *****.

For, the wars that we fought,
Its a shame no one ever really died,
Though most times I got injured.
Each gunshot came from our lips.
Every bomb exploded from my finger tips,
Poetry, fell to pages like grenades,
As I figure skated above landmines for days.
Tip toeing over these trip wires,
Loving you is a dangerous thing.
But I don't think I can survive without the affliction
It is, kind of becoming our little tradition
Where I,
Love you,
You love me
Then build me
And break me
And leave me
But I still Love you.
As if my soul,
Beckons at the mercy of your beauty.

You once stood,
With an arm full of lightening rods,
Dared me to stand still, and I did.
I trusted you.
You fired every last one at me.
I never healed.
I will never heal,
Because I will always feel.

they all think I'm wearing,
a bulletproof west,
but can't you see,
I'm lying on the ground,
bleeding,
screaming,
and you are still shooting me?

(e.k.j.)

I don't understand our society nowadays
Sometimes including myself.
We have right of speech,
but sometimes we are too afraid to speak up
The government has said we are free to speak
about anything we want and we will no be punished
not in legal ways
And if there are millions talking about hate
about drugs, alcohol, smoking and other addictions
than why are we so afraid to speak up! \
about the truth
about life
about our salvation
about the only and absolute truth!!!
GOD!!!!
Because we are ashamed?
Because we care about the opinion of the world?
Because we are afraid of rejection?
Well Jesus was not ashamed of me
when we died on the cross
And Jesus spoke to the world about a new life
and he is sitting on a throne now
He was rejected by those he came to save
and still he lives in a kingdom now
As or those who crucified him
and rejected him
and the worlds that let him down
And the ones who shamed him
as well as the world today
that says their truths
and deny absolute truth
Hear this, you CAN be FORGIVEN....
Because that is who he died for
Sinners, like you and me,
and that is why he let a crown o jewels for a crown of thorns
Because of love.
I will no longer be afraid
I want to feel like the Lord as in
Hate the sin
but love the sinner
I shatter down the spirit
of divorce
abortion
gay/lesbian/*******
and all the lies that lie among these
For the Lord is my savior!

Sometimes you gotta fall before you fly
When I'd heard that lyric
I was in the 7th grade, going through my scene phase in an attempt to salvage a friendship
I lost the tug of war match between myself and the girl who needed so much
I forfeited because I'd come to the realisation that friendships
Are really just balloons you eventually have to let go of before it starts to sag
Months went by and I found myself listening to that playlist
Searching for something that wasn't there
Maybe looking for some peacefulness, I don't know
One summer, the heavy monsoon storms would not let up
Afternoon after afternoon I spent staring out my window wondering if I could drown in it if I stood outside for long enough
That was the summer my sewing machine wouldn't stop humming as I ran out of fabric to make the unfinished quilt that hides in my closet
That was the summer I really listened
To the song and to my heart
Sometimes you gotta fall before you fly
Sometimes to really live you've got to try
I let myself fall, convinced I was going to fly
I tried, expecting I was going to live
I fell
I tried
I failed
I lied
That was the summer I died.

Sprinkled in your hair,
Every screen saver you had,
Planted in your yard,
'Till he gave them a bad name;
Then all of your flowers died.