HAVE

1) I have it here.

2) Has it had me?

3) Have. Want. Need. Exert.

4) What do I have?

Her eyes glistened as she read those words,
A perfect world with no depressing sorrow or tears that blurred.
No one to tell her to snap out of her daydream,
No one to say go tidy up and clean.
For reading about her utopia made her skin tingle with desire,
But even those who wander cannot always have what they admire.

I spend so many nights starring up from my bed.
Gazing upon the plastic glow in the dark stars.
Vision blurs as I long to be staring at the real thing.
Or maybe- it's not so much that I want to see them.
Maybe it's I want to be one- I want to be a star.
I want to be looked for- to be wanted so badly that people travel miles just to get far enough away to see me properly. What a different feeling, to be wanted. To feel so loved and cherished. That's all I've ever wanted, I want to feel noticed. I want to feel loved. I want to feel like I'm worth something. I don't just want to be wanted. I want to be wanted by you. So tell me, will you travel away from it all to see me? Will you miss me when you have to return to civilization? No.. No you will simply stay where you are- not bothering to take a chance on something you can't see. But why would you? So many shine brighter than me..

This dichotomy of desires

To be one

Or to be one with someone

A seesaw dance of thoughts

In perpetual motion

Is the joy of balance

A mere notion?

Two thoughts

within the span of an ocean

Engulfing a storm of emotions

Demanding a resolution

I’m stray desire
Mottled words and voice
Barren constitution trapped in
White ******* noise

Break-
Break free--
I am pulling at these chains, though in return they're pulling me.

I am stuck-
Suffocating-
I am choking-
        I'm stuck!
How could this be?

Young children running down a green pasture-
Dreams so large, so real, so fierce-
I was there-
       That was me!

Look now-
Look at me now--
Can you see?
An adult lost at sea.

Stuck, Lost, Confused-
In a kingdom so large.
So many others-
       yet still feel alone

Searching for the 'free' in freedom,
Though cornered into fear,
All the rules choking me in,
The 'free' will never be near.