(For Eric Killmonger)
A little boy stared in the clouds
Forgotten tales screaming loud
His word small and nothing wrong
It all shattered after too long
Stories of cities that touched the sky
Clans of people untouched by time
Hope soon filled his boyish dreams
But not everything was as it seemed
One night he came home and saw
His father dead, struck down by claw
Weeping over his fathers head
He begged him to stay, not leave him instead
Shattered dreams and shattered hopes
He held the myth achingly close
Alone, no one there to guide
He locked his humanity deep inside
Battling for a way to free them all
Seeking power and in deaths thrall
The world had taken everything away
And all in one single day
So he would take everything away from it
His soul a star no longer lit
Now he lay there quietly dying
His enemy close, no longer fighting
The world it seemed would take him too
His glittering eyes full of rue
There was nothing left for him here
Breathing ragged and full of fear
Finally he took his very last breath
And slipped away as his life left
And as the sun left the sky
The night descended with a sigh
The little boy was dead and gone
His life a sad and weary song.
-Roguesong-
-Esther L. Krenzin-

A whisper floats into my ear
So soft that I can barely hear
Tearing me apart deep down inside
I just want it to end, and peace to reside
It offers power and darkness to me
How lost I am I just cannot see
Part of me begs to again find the light
But the greed overcomes and darkens my sight
I've lost who I was to fear and hate
And now I'm trapped and think its too late
Tears spring to my eyes as I lift them high
Seeking wisdom and answers that aren't based on lies
The mask fades, the lie I built
To block the pain and heart wrenching guilt
Looking at the cracked reflection of my face
All I see is a failure and a disgrace
A monster that I myself have created
Is now the very person to be hated
The choices spin around in my head
As I stand here now wishing I was dead
Could I give it all up and run away?
Or lose myself to evil and stay?
I let go of the light and embrace the dark
Crushing the old me leaving not a spark
The ember in the ashes eventually dies out
Leaving an empty shell full of doubt
Clutching my weapon I scream
Wishing it all was a dream
But it is real, I am real
And I just want it all to heal
Instead I stand here, taking deep breaths
No friend but my shadow who hasn't yet left
Inside it hurts but outside it sleeps
So I'll stand here again as it silently reaps

-Esther L. Krenzin-
-Roguesong-

I stand alone, the ghosts of my parents lingering
in my heart
Remembering the death
the change
the upheaval of life how it was
The remains of my soul splinter
and crack
As I remember the terrible deeds that a
desperate girl committed.
~
I, that girl, remember humanity as
it was;
whole
untainted
pure
But the fear and pain overcome and all reason
leaves
Forged into iron and steel that
bleeds tears
~
"It hurts so much," I whispered
"I just want to be whole and normal."
I'd do anything to fix myself
Even if it meant destroying my
humanity
~
I found I was afraid to leave this
world
For in all of its horror and evil
Beauty still existed amidst the pain
And I wanted to live
and laugh
and feel
I wanted to experience
and love
and dream
But it was all ripped away that
fateful night
Lost and destroyed, out of
sight
~
But then a gentle woman appeared
And smiled at me with kind eyes
With the touch of a hand I
was set free
Finally able to just be me
I started to cry from the absence
of pain
And I knew the world for me
would change
A chance to live a life once more
No thought to what came
before
~
I was able to touch
and dance
and fly
Dream
and sing
and touch the sky
I'll start again and my story I'll tell
And proudly wear the scars I earned
well.

-Esther L. Krenzin-
-Roguesong-

Simulan natin sa katapusan nang taon,
Naging dahilan nang araw-araw kong pagbangon,
Naalintana ang palagiang paglamon,
At uminit ang Pasko nang kahapon.

“Napakaganda nang buhok mo”, aking bati,
Para sa minimithi kong binibini,
Pagmamahal mo’y sa akin’y biglaang sumapi,
Noon ko ipinagdarasal na makita kita’ng parati.

Humingi nang payo kung kani-kanino,
Upang manatiling aktibo’t ‘di mablangko,
Bagama’t ang kinauukalan mo’y malayo,
‘Di nagtagal, nagkaroon na din nang “tayo”

Araw-araw magkausap simula noong ikalabing-walo nang Enero,
Nagpatuloy hanggang Pebrero pati Marso,
Kadalasang naiisip kapag nag-iisa sa kwarto,
Hanggang sa eskwela, daanan, lansangan, lungsod, barangay’t baryo.

Naputol man ang ating koneksyon,
Hinding-hindi ka mawawala sa ‘king imahinasyon,
Ipinagbawal man upang turuan nang leksyon,
Sa araw-araw ang pag-ibig mo’y aking binabaon.

Pinaghigpitan man’y iginagalang ko
Ang desisyon at pagmamahal nang mga magulang mo,
Sa ika-dieciocho ka pa daw pwedeng magka-novio,
Nag-atubili, sumagot ako nang “opo”.

Lahat daw nang inaantay at pinaghihirapan,
Ay mayroong napakalaking kahalagahan,
Kahit alinma’y sakit ay aking ginampanan,
Upang sumunod lamang sa natatanging kasunduan.

Kaya nandito ako ngayon,
Na may pagmamahal at may mga pagtitiis na naipon,
Nanabik sa pangako nang kahapon,
Sa pangakong uuwi ka sa iyong selebrasyon,

Ngayong ika-siyam nang Pebrero,
Nais kong malaman mo na pag-ibig ko sayo’y ‘di magbabago,
Nag-intay, nagtiis, nahirapan, ngunit ‘di napagod,
Dahil umaapaw ang pagmamahal mula labas hanggang ubod.