So many times,
I’ve tried telling you
that I love you and that I care for you,

I need you to know that I see your intentions,
that you are indeed trying,

He does not see you for who you are,
she can not see you for who you are,
they would not see you for who you are,
if you do not acknowledge who you are,

dear self,
care for your soul, it’s been homeless too many times,
sing to your heart, it’s been homesick for some beats,
make peace with your mind, it’s the only home for your thoughts,
thoughts like this,
that have not been cared for at all
and not once filled with some love.

You’re just like a dream
Always so close
Yet so far from me
And I wonder what it feels like
To revolve around your energy

I’ve been here for a while
I’m hanging on for you
But my dear I fear we’re too apart
I want to dive into your heart
And show you
What it feels to fall in love

I try to follow your protocol
But I curse to the wind  
When it all falls apart
Our love is fragile
But not impossible
You’re the cure
To my broken heart
And I’m the console
For your endless tears

I’m love ridden
But I’m far too timid
To let you know
That there’s a world
For you and me
I’ll never get close to your gravity
That’s just the way
It was meant to be

Dear dad

I know i'm not there to say this so I though typing it is the best choise.
I know I messed up. I know i'm not the little girl I used to be.
Dad we were so close and know I get why we aren't anymore its because of me. I shut everyone out. Dad i'm sorry. Dad when you see this, if you ever do, its not your fault, its mine. I should of never shut you out, I should of told you what was going on, but I didn't. Dad I didn't move because I was running, I moved because I need a change and I got one and now I'm happy.

Dad when you read this I hope your not crying
I hope your not sitting there saying its your fault
Dad I hope your not blaming yourself

Dad i'm growing up I become this quite person
i'm sorry

And dad I want you came to my party by yourself because we need to talk face to face. I need to tell you things that I kept to myslef. Why I was quite, why my grades were bad, why I never talked about it, and why I need this change. Dad don't be angery please. I love you and miss you tons. And dad I will answer any questions.

No, I don’t have a boyfriend.

I don’t have the desire to see another end;
after exhaustive months of getting to know
a fictionalised persona, fragmented, so

No, I don’t have a boyfriend.

The last one hurt and you didn’t see,
but that doesn’t proclaim the scar less prominent to me,
my feelings numb, I no longer crave the intimacy - detrimental to me.

No, I don’t have a boyfriend.

The last boys touch was for him not for me
and my body still screams cause he won’t let it be
and you’ll never understand as the trauma won’t subside
and my self esteem is diminished by his lies.

No, I don’t have a boyfriend.

I humoured a guy who gave it a try
but all I could feel was nothing inside
and when someone bumps into me sauntering by
the unwanted touch still makes me cry.

No, I don't want a boyfriend.