i cut the envelopes that come in through my mailbox with the jagged edges of my front teeth
women used to chew their umbilical cord after birth
and my mother tied my hair in the same ponytail the entirety of my girlhood
the elastic snapping a couple times a day
because the girth of hair was always too thick
and I envied the women with thin, silky hair
the kind that didn't snap or break
split in two like my lip in the winter
or when hitting the pavement

years later when I became bored with everything
everyone I knew was in love with
I became queen of abandoning all in a jiffy
sobering up and growing up
the more I went up
the easier it became to be simple and dumb

so cut my tongue-tie
leave me in the dark
i'll never be middle class
as you explain poverty to me in your fake squalor
I understand that one day you'll eventually
move back to your parents' wealth
and my sun will be hotter

I'll quit my job and live in between different parks
with similar names and the birds that always remember your
face but they have so many
your head becomes a scrambled egg
you'll listen to my songs
but that's only because
you want to believe they're about you

it's liquid gold
when everyone is defined by what kind of milk they drink

we love
as hard as we
fall apart
on our worst days

The prettiest sunset I had ever seen was  during the largest fire we had had in a long time.
It was smoke covered reds and pinks and yellows.
It was hazy blues and darkening grays.
It was as if the sky was screaming for help while it was also fading away hoping sleep would clear the bad dreams.

And all the while I watched the sun set and the colors fade to night and I knew...
that even the worst of days can fade into something peaceful for even just one moment.

And I knew... that my bad day would burn out like the fire one day...