I found a buck on the ground!
i cried.
BUT IT GAVE ME A REASON TO LEAVE
just for twenty minutes
trapped in my brain
*send pleasure

Before I went to sleep,
I counted my blessings,
For having you,a beautiful family and trusted friends,
Their care and love,
A roof over my head,
All my needs met,
And many of my  wants too.
Then,you had an accident and departed,
So sudden,no hugs no goodbyes.
Grief gripped my soul,
Agony wounded my heart
Nothing made sense.
Night after night tears drenched
my pillow,
Muffled sobs, my eyes swollen.
Remembering  moments with you,
My heart would break anew.
Until one day my priest made me realize,
You were a blessing too,
HIS trust (amanat) he had given me.

black flowers and dress;
as i saw my reflection,
the water start to stir up.

as I saw my tears,
I know it's over
I know you're gone
but imagine if I can love you for so long;
imagine a world where we don't stuck in these thorns.

Belt or boot,
U didn't care,
It would hurt,
But still you shoot..

I cried and tried,
To lift myself high..
But stumble and fall,
Prayed almighty,
That day save me..that's all.

I will blame,
Because there is no shame,
Pain had accumulate,
When u did humiliate.
Journey till twenty,
Harsh was reality
Full of cruelity.
No love no peace
Was torn piece by piece.

i cried today.
i cried so hard i couldn't stop in any way.
i cried;
because she died.
i cried;
but she wan't going to come back.
i cried;
but things won't change.
i cried;
but she's in a better place.