to oversee

to "feel" neglect on some kind of truth

the one that makes you go crazy

whatever it is

it's beautiful with you

but i shook hands with an end i couldn't accept

on to the next i guess

i can't bare with the unknown regarding you



another sip
to numb my lips




imagining the possiblity of us

desiring trust from myself

can't dwell in the hell i've created for my health

living to overcome the previous days

a transit to a better tomorrow

a mentality to try and follow

for no reason but satisfation with ones self

why would i ever want to satisfy my "SELF"?

"i" shouldn't need you, this longing is at war with my being

various traits to become alligned with

to make up who we are and what we want to be

in time

ways of patience

practice


in the stream of dedication
initiation is tricky
a little iffy

everything we used to be has ended

left my side 2b free

my mind aches so ******* much
i know it's easier to simply "be"
the story started to end when I thought this love wouldn't fade

no hope from the start

for the next person, there's no love to spare

time away

it'll just fly

like the 3 years i'll deny ever happened

pour myself away

to observe all that I "am"

the memories of you aren't "now"

it's a hard thing to accept

gone with the love we both portrayed

until it fades and decays

in time we'll heal and say
          we've learned from the tragedies

      fall for oppositions

that's the first sign...

we were blind.... in denial
or is that just how I see right now?

achieve the moment of being alone

only to know, that's what I always was

to think you were the only one


the fights just leave us in distress

to know I'm no longer harming you

vice versa

the happier I seem to be

undenianiably memorable segment of our lives

to look back and still feel and know love... or what it could

be....

the unlimitedness of it

to know I do, doesn't matter if you do
is enough for

me.

when the autumn ends

will be we passed ammends?

doge the

                     pain.....

to get
           hit from another direction

i'll just fall.....

and get up again

don't you worry






           about David

when it all goes to ****
and the chemicals don’t hit
Remember
you’ve always been the one to control your will to quit
And you’re still here
even when your life is smeared
and there’s nowhere else to steer
there’s still a move to be played
early or late
those who face themselves
aren’t ones to be betrayed

it makes sense
A tad tense from a day that don’t require two cents
Seeing from a different lense

this is the end
A poem to finish this off
For the memory
12:52 am
November 6
My day didn’t start so well
False dreams it seems
Sleeping in the closet
Feeling like a loser
A new beginning
Another end
No more time to spend
This time
All I can do is accept
The circumstances call for a few cries of denial
but the reason has been clear

when the dues are paid
and there’s nothing left to be said
get up and make your bed
heat up the water
you look at your phone only to say “why bother”
my mind is playing games
Eyes of people so tame
I let out my false anger on people I love
Can I envy empty space?
Give me some peace, a slice to taste
I can’t deny my hate when it doesn’t exist
it doesn’t begin
Nor does it end
Why do I deny?
your influences tickle your thoughts
it reflects in your actions
dangling keys
running from the bees
the pain is far from being at ease
expanding consciousness but I slip when the thoughts come storming
Flooding my train of thought
Demons to be fought
in an empty lot
A reason to be caught
Alone, this stream I must jot
listening to romantic music
by the girl with a voice better sounding than the acoustics
They think I’m playing but really I’m not boosting
The mood changes like a hit before I’m zooted
Unexpected
But when the heat comes know that it’s brewing
The doings of today
Forgotten in the days I couldn’t walk straight
The moments are delayed
Down as of late
Early when I bake
It just happens no heaven sake
It just happens
Like I don’t think of the girl I betrayed
Never should I have stayed
If the love was delayed
Why did I choose to stay
In a crowd
For a band
Color and sound
The waves take the pain away so late
The mind in disbelief
happy endings to seize
the one in the mirror the only one to please

a bed awaiting my death
remembering moments better left unthought
if it’s for the better, i won't call to say I love you
growing fond of letting go
it's so easy it hurts
without opening my third
it simply has been
the wine consumed
makes it easier to accept my doom
go your way
mine has been betrayed
broken promises
the moments pass
the liquor is still being consumed
the end
is all we live for
every moment flashes
it flashes
it flashes
the run
towards a light unseen
a darkness so keen

How can there be
A ******* universe?
Look around you,
Touch something with your fingertips.
What the hell is this?
How is it that there is anything?
How is it that anything is happening
At all?

How can there be
A ******* universe
Which perceives itself
Through the eyes of a human?
Which questions how it began
Through the mind of a mammal?
Which ponders why it is here
Through the words of an ape?

Is there anyone else in town?
Where are all the loons
Freaking out
Over the existence of existence?
How come it doesn't happen
Every moment
Every day?

How can there be
A ******* universe?
And if there weren't one
How could there not be one?
Not be where?

Pondering,
However,
Can't go
Forever;
My coffee is ready
And my mind's
Getting steady.