The feeling of no hope.
Just wishful distress.

Trapped in silence, burdened by loud thoughts I hesitate to express.

Suffer in silence a friend once said.
Verbalized then cauterized with dread.

I want to be free.
But these chains bring me to my knees.

In the mirror someone new stands.
Broken compared to the man beforehand.

I am autumn and you are spring
If any of this folderol even means a thing.
I’m a Virgo and you are an Aries sprite.
And somehow the combination fits just right.
If I chose tarot cards and you I Ching
That did not make the wedding bells ring.
Whatever the fates had in store for us two
Is exactly what we are dedicated to do.

You threw a coin into the Trevi fountain
We saw the future on a nearby mountain.
We knew we were matched together for life
Happy newlyweds, two husbands, no wife.
After six months asking important questions
We were sure this was the right proposition.
Some people warned us to take a full year
But we read the signs and they were very clear.

We saw or talked to each other every day
Diving into the words we heard the other say.
It was essential that we learned everything;
Who the other really was and would bring
To a lifetime relationship for two individuals
Determined to keep the relationship in the middle.
There seemed to be nothing there to reject;
We were both what we needed, imperfectly perfect.

We were equally determined to stay ourselves
And put the fairy tales on a childhood shelf
And not expect the other one to ever change.
Some people implied to us that idea was strange.
My friends saw traits in him they urged me to stop.
The same was true of him, but we were not cops.
Instead I cherished the person I saw as great.
He did the same so we did not need to wait.

Now, today, it’s twenty eight years of love
As if we had the blessings from above.
It’s like planets aligned and are blessing us
In some kind of personal Age of Aquarius.
We've had to climb over some gnarly spots
But we're more than happy with what we got.
We got a partnership, love that lasted a lifetime.
So, we wanted to share it with you in this rhyme.

two cans, held together with strings
a common thread in ways we think
like telepathy
but better

the way our eyes would meet
and suddenly your mind i read
how your words echoed itself on the insides of my mind
even as we sat together, silent

you lay your hands on me, gently
getting to know me
and in doing so, entangling
the red thread between us, binding

the connection, complicated
strings ******* against each other
words once warm, now lost in translation
muffled, and audible no longer

i see you, no distance between us
yet your words...unintelligible
"do i know you?"
perhaps...only in the past

all these words I want to place lightly on your skin
like cold raindrops skimming your chin
a warm embrace,
a beautiful face.

i guess i got too caught in my mind,
realisation came too late
a broken connection
was all i find

two cans, each other repelling
in many ways saddening.
a mystery
left open-ended forever.

Dear mummy, do you remember the day,
That we went out shopping clothes, for my 10th birthday?
When I stepped in the shop and I saw what was around
- all those wonderful colours - I could hear my heart pound!

Hundreds of skirts and frocks and frills;
And I smelt them and felt them, and thought “Buy one, I will!”
I quickly, swiftly, scanned the shelves,
And finally spotted, the one I wanted for myself!

It was a lovely cotton frock, with a lovely white patch
In the shape of a dog - and a white collar to match.
It was the best frock I’d seen and it made my day.
And to top it all, it was a splendid light grey!

“Grey?!” you wailed. “Are you sure?
That’s not a real colour. Let’s look some more.”
“Oh!” I thought “All I need to do,
Is to tell mummy that grey’s a colour too!”

But I tried and I tried, but you didn’t see
And I almost cried, when you said grey is not for me.
“Why mummy why? Why do you think that’s true?
So many things are grey! And they’re lovable too.

Like dark fluffy clouds, just before they’re going to rain.
And squirrels and cats, and sewage drains.
Alright, alright, maybe drains you don’t adore,
But what about dogs, baby elephants and more!”

But you gave me that look of sheer surprise,
Wondering why I liked grey, better than lavender dyes.
“Girls don’t wear grey, ma, At least I don’t think they should.
Aren’t you a girl? Or have I misunderstood?”

“Of course I’m a girl, And not anything less.
But that never crossed my mind, when I saw that lovely dress!
I just really loved it. I can’t explain why.
Could you tell me why you like lavender? Give it a try!”

“Because lavender is soft!”, you said. “And lavender is nice,
And lavender is so soothing, to my eyes!”
“No wonder you love lavender! That is so cool!
That’s exactly why I love grey mummy! Did I break some rules?”

“It’s not because I’m a boy or because I want to rebel,
It’s because I love the colour, I’m sure you can tell!”
And then I waited to hear what you said.
Would you smile or just shake your head?

“I understand ma, why you love grey.
I don’t love it. But you could love it anyway!
You think it’s bright and I think it’s dull!
And that has nothing to do with you being a girl!”

Dear mummy, do you remember that day?
When you listened and asked instead of looking away?
When you taught me how to respect and learn,
And how to stay and understand instead of doing a turn.

Your words remind me of how you let go
Of years of training of what a girl should do and know.
Thank you for teaching me how to deal with my fears.
I still have that frock with me, after twenty five years.

I found out that I’ve known
The language of the autumn
All along
But she couldn’t handle
Her own
Transitive verbs
And the silent consonants,
The stressed vowels
That brought her sorrow
I was pure torture when
I spoke to her
With a passion that
Shed her chills
In cold tears
Stabbing shards
Crashing in my ribs
I was our undoing
Inevitable as winter