I beg of you:

1. Examine me with curious eyes.
Crave to sneak a look within,
to see where the treasures lie.

2. Caress me with gentle fingers --
hold me in such a way
that every touch lingers.

3. Open me, peer into my soul
and study each aspect with care.
Hold each one in the softest embrace
no matter the fright or scare.

4. And this, I ask with all my heart --
love me, treasure me, and all my parts.
For despite appearances, despite my walls,
I am not Pandora's Box.

So scared to let anybody in
You make it seem so easy to give in
Feeding me things I have never received
Makes me feel bad because I know it will hurt when I'll leave
I'm sorry, but this is how it needs to be
To stop things in advanced in case of another repeat
Because I see the way you look at me
And now I need to keep you far away from me

feeling closed off
from the place
i once called home

looking for a new
place were I can
roam.

When I walked in I didn't know what to expect.
Each room highlighted in light.
A oral tradition. To make ourselves at home upon request.
In reciprocation we do.
The rooms we gather in, the ones we walk past.
The objects we fill to take up space.
The rooms a clear reflection of Spring.
The molding painted white.
I was told that some rooms are not to be visited.
Everything has it's season and this isn't one of them.
Placing blame on the rooms.
I want to explore them most I said.
The ones that go unseen.
The things we rarely shine light to.
The places films of dust continue to grow.
These are some of the best places to go.
The beauty of things we walk past day to day.
The smile unknown destinations can bring.
Cultivating the ideas we keep cluttered.
Gasping for air.
These are the rooms I want to explore most.
The parts of you that you strictly keep to yourself.
Only when you are comfortable to share these rooms with me.
To kiss the floor with our feet.
To dwell in the past staring into our future.
We are the pendulums trapped inside the clock

Most times I don't introduce you to the me I'd like you to meet.
Although it's anonymously unintended.
I've revealed the second chance of myself being hurt spiritually.
The experience of life.
All the people who offer beautiful smiles.
The recovering of a familiar face.
The hello of an imperfect flame.
Extinguished by the goodbye of loss.
The smoke left forever to roam.
Never to find it's place.
It becomes habit,
To keep distance.
Constantly moving.
Too scared to let someone new in.
Soon as someone new approaches,
The flame is extinguished & regret sets in.
I close myself off and smother everything around.
Wholeheartedly.
Soon as you get close that's why I pack everything up & run.
As much as you love my scent I am afraid that you'll use me until there is nothing left.
That you'll blow out the spark to everything that I feel is real.
Memories can be beautiful,
And it is for that reason that I cannot allow you to get close.
This fear the only comfort I feel is real

She asked me how I felt and as we sat in silence awaiting my answer, I came to realize that maybe the emptiness in the air gave a better explanation than the words I couldn't seem to fathom.

Open the floodgates
You seem afraid to do so
You seem to believe
I'll be swept under
And taken from you forever
You said: "You already have enough to deal with"
But, I doubt you've considered,
That being locked out by you,
Is the leading cause of my pain

Open the floodgates
When I was left alone
I uncovered my strength
I learnt to get by on my own
If your words cut deep
If I must do so again
I'll heal myself
I'm not afraid to be pulled under
Not anymore

Open the floodgates
Though, your suffering may cause salt stains on my cheeks
Though, how you see yourself may crack my heart in two
Though, you may have sent others fleeing in fear
Though, it seemed you were only truly cared for by a few
I will not give in
I'll stand tall
I'll push through the currents
You won't see me fall
Unless I'm on my knees before you
Until your walls have crumbled and your heart is within my reach
I'll gather every ounce of strength
In order to make it
So I can pull all your broken pieces into my arms,
Pour the contents of my heart and soul into them
In an attempt to show
I care
In an attempt to show you
I'll always be here

Open the floodgates, my love
Look into my eyes as I swim through the force
Simply to cradle you in my arms
Know this, if I can't make it to the other side
I will die trying
I won't give up on you

Open the floodgates
Give me a chance

l.v.s

|| Layers, ||
                           ||| layers, |||
                                                           |||| layers ||||
To each person there are many
I have mine: from the two-piece I always wear
To the intangible levels that make me who I am
And you have yours: from the one-piece cropped tops
To the varied fronts you show to hide your vulnerability.
With the help of your hands and charm, I unhesitatingly and slowly peeled off my layers
To show you who I really am:

                                   Genuine, unbroken, pure

You on the other hand,
Your layers unraveled themselves
Over the months
Giving me a picture of who you are:

                                       Bro//ken, afraid, [closed-off]

Not giving me a chance
Only giving me excuses
For why there can’t be more.
The one layer you did not want to peel off
Would reveal and open your heart
I revealed mine, foolishly thinking you would do the same
But you never did…