I know you’re scared,
What is it, the 4th school now?
Time to make new friends just to probably leave them again.

You’ll be mad about it soon,
I mean, why wouldn’t you be?
Soon you’ll be overcome with dread each time the alarm rings.

For the first time, you’re shy,
How can you be shy after all this time?
You’ve had to do this more times than most this isn’t hard.

So you’re the new kid,
It’s a nickname you know well, right?
Trust me, it’s better than nicknames you’ll be called later.

I’m not trying to scare you,
Isn’t it obvious I only want the best for me?
Don’t forget how strong you are and what you’ve already accomplished.

Keep your head up, kid,
Do you really think life won’t get better?
Well, I can tell you first hand that this isn’t even that bad.

But it will shape you,
Just remember that at least, okay?
This 14-year-old hell won’t be nearly as tragic 9 years later.

seems it has been quite
quite longer than
eleven weeks
since we last spoke
i'm sure that on this early morning
you're only sleeping
but i'd like to share
some basic ideas
Perhaps you
can't forget it all
in fact

it might be the sad reality
that all you can do
is reflect on
a good old memory

the simple memories that you hold
and seem to also run through my head
even if i refuse, the inevitable rises
that i must accept those
precious hours
we had
and it seems that
i like to reference songs in
all of my reminiscence
through this incoherent series
of run-on sentences

to answer your questions
do you want answers?
at least now
after all this time
quite longer than
eleven weeks
since we last spoke?
or may i leave your questions
as mysteries of your poem?
the answers
can only be guessed

guessed
emotionally
or logically
we do know
what happened this year
and it seems that
i took you
as far as you could go
hugs are nice
so embrace the hugs
selfishness is a construct

you can't be afraid
to care for yourself
and explore
your desires
i'm sorry i didn't stay
why would an affair
be needed
to visit you?
well, i sure hope
my lacking presence
doesn't wrack your brain anymore

I know she’s home when her car is a mile away
It’s so loud and I can hear the music playing before she parks
I can tell it’s her by the way she slams her door
She steps lightly up the flights of stairs unlike the rest
Even careful when she unlocks the door and pushes it open
Sometimes she has a hat on, but most times not
She calls my name and I come into the room
I patiently wait for her to throw her bag on the couch
And to peel her coat off with huffs of irritation
She kicks her boots off to the side before
A breath of relief escapes her lips.

Finally, she takes notice of me!
She sits down on the floor.
I chirp with enthusiasm to show her my appreciation
She’s gentle at first and then she gets too excited
So she grabs me and I immediately remember every day before
She does this every day, but somehow I forget this part
I cry in protest, but she only laughs
Continuing to pepper me with kisses.

And now my brother emerges
I’m plopped back down on the floor
I try to get her attention again, but she’s moved on
In defeat, I walk away and sit and glare
She never picks him up like she picks me up
Oh wait, she picked him up
After more kisses he’s put down too
She stretches and smiles at us.

“Who wants food?”

They keep laughing at me
Their noise flow forth from the DEPTHs of their throats
On their thrones they point their fingers
I see their diaphragms trembling in glee

hAHaha
So what if you don't like the real me?
hAHaha
I don't CARE
hAHaha
These aren' the colours I should see

...

They're not there.

I see the colours, the pictures
The words never come

Born to beg
Human touch
Ask of it
Sell myself for it

Inauthentic thrift
Fed winter's coal
Drinking the winter sleet
A conscious envelope

Sympathy divulges vanity
The mind is borne on spines
Beaten backs and chalk lines
The factory smog blanket

The film reel is tainted
Nullified by the future
Blood is upheld through drink
Or the scraps 'neath the kitchen sink

Mistress and minstrel
Colliding in such fashion
The green of grass but the soil
Which accentuates the home

The smoking pipe for the open mind
And love's ill script
Black soot of night, laid on wheat
The farmer's purple grain

The miner earns alone

Pigeon-striped with a polyester hat
How can he look so nice and feel so sad?
“It’s a momentary lapse in sadness
Brewed in prudence and gladness”

Fret not for the velvet shoe that stalks you
Cry a well for all the leather hides
That you wear upstairs for kindred brides
Another lover bred to love untrue

“Is there something else I’d like to say?
Efficiency is drenched in dismay
Jewelled epaulettes on deafened shoulders
Something more incise, I shall solder"

Heaven delivered our coal
Sat atop a gilded pole
Heaven delivered our coal
By lawful life, we are loveless moles

Ruby-haired and lilac-nailed
How can she arouse yet taste so stale?
“Hold my vindication in a brooch
Open my heart in reproach"

Fret not for the saddle in your ‘mare
It will take you to a mining town
There, you will earn yourself a gown
And fall on the soldered stairs

“Is there something else I’d like to say?
I am to be blackened for my pay
Else I resign to a red ribbon
And use almighty love as a weapon"

Sweet life, what’s to surmise?
Moths in the corners of our eyes
Writing as a fly in a frame
Spot the hideous, spotted dame

Watch your place, hold your pace

Heaven delivered our coal
Sat atop a gilded pole
Heaven delivered our coal
By lawful life, we are loveless moles

Uneven breathing rhythm
Serene becomes luxurious
One's mind now went unconscious
Fallen into a mayhem

I will contemplate my boredom today, it's terrible,
I must dedicate my actions to something ethical,
So I'll go agitate all the photo chemicals,
It won't automate, it's not a technical miracle,
I will be the chaser of an adventure to set out,
To steal a stack of photo paper someone had left out,
Took it from "The Enticing Taylor", stole his photo clout,
I'm no hater but you better remember to take out,
Your **** when you are done in the dark room...