The empty stare, beyond what's there.
The mind’s eye seems to draw me there.  

To a place of peace and a place of calm.
In a world where something must be wrong.

Oh how I long to guide you through.
This tunnel vision point of view.

Within my mind’s eye I see you there.
What others perceive as a cold blank stare.




©

She was so scary
So calm
She had the night under her eyes
She was so hidden that she could laugh in the middle of a panic attack

the record spins
playing its gentle crackle
reflecting the light of the warm afternoon sun
oh how it glistens.
it soothes me.

Tranquility
It's gazing at the reflection of strawberry skies in an untouched lake
making you feel like the child you once used to be
thinking about what your mom is making for dinner
It's a warm summery breeze
hugging you like that blanket your grandma gave you for Christmas
while you slowly fell asleep
It's chasing a butterfly in your garden
feeling the wind in your hair , not worrying about anything but that **** insect
yet now
as we grow older
why must we be frightened of being tranquil?

Your breath gets taken
your chest is tight.
you try to grasp
with all your might
the world gets dark the light is gone.
you wonder what you did wrong.
is this the end is life really ending 
you start to reflect on all the pretending
then all of a sudden with a mighty gasp.
you get your breath back. oh gosh. at last.
your heart rate lowers you're finally back.
thank God it was just a panic attack.

Mental heart at rest,
At rest...

At best,
I must arrest my restless mind to slog through the rest of today.

At Rest.
At rest,
Birds nest of anxieties...
Come to rest.

SILENCE!

insolent mind.

Be, at rest.

i hope that every evening, your
hands cradle a tired
face, that your legs find themselves warm and
tangled,

that you have the freedom to
kiss those hands,
palms, knuckles,

trace scars and forgive straying from the path,
rub shoulders and hold til it's all right.

to know
that it's okay to feel this way,
it isn't a sin to breathe this way,
it's okay to Be
in this way.



i pray that you can love yourself at night.