Yes, she’s got eyes that are golden and lips that scream lust

She’s got a sharp, consuming beauty and a

Laugh that would make you smile for days.

She’s got a little waist and an hourglass figure

She turns heads and evokes whistles when she saunters

And darling I am not beautiful like her,

But I’ve got eyes that hold an ocean, weeping

Full and heavy with love and emotion

I’ve got a heart big enough to hold

All the pain in the universe, and a little more

I’ve got a smile that breaks hearts because

I find all the little reasons, to be happy

When I have all the reasons, to not.

I’ve got hands that mend the broken and

Tend to the lonely, arms that embrace the

Lost and unloved. I am not profound or gorgeous,

I don’t have her golden eyes or her lips,

I don’t have her hourglass figure or little waist

But I have a voice that speaks raw truth even when

I am shaking in fear of being seen, for me.

I have words that remedy melancholy and

Wipe tears without me extending a hand.

I am the last one crying at the movie,

I am the girl who stops to smell the roses

Just because they deserve to be appreciated

I am the woman who loves more than she loves

Herself, who gives you her strongest parts and settles with

Jagged shards of the ghost of who she once was,

I am fragile and iron-strong all at once,

And I am difficult to understand,

Impossible to figure out, and a

Challenge to love.

But I am not my flaws,

And I am lovable,

Whether you choose to, or not.

"It took me a long time to realize that my partners were having *** with me in part because of the way my body looks, not in spite of the way my body looks."

Home alone for twenty minutes
Taking apart stationary
No pressure,
just a clean swipe
It’s sickeningly easy

Simply crossing a barrier
That was formerly invisible
At 13 years old
She says
“I would never do that”

It isn’t a happy release
It doesn’t make her feel good
Nor is it feeling
Anything but numb
It’s the hurting that she values

Little red dotted lines
Like ink on printer paper saying
‘Cut here’
With kiddie scissors
Staining loo roll and tissues

It’s all some sick damnation
From herself to herself
Why do you
Look like this
She can’t stand the sight of you

dear society,
ive done everything you asked.

what more could you want?

Cakes, cookies, cheese
Oh can I have them please
Burgers, dogs, fries
I can’t live with all these lies

Friends, fakes, foes
Oh what I’d do for some ** hos
Mascara, lipstick, eyeliner
I wish I was in a greasy diner

Short skirts and high heels galore
I’m starting to look like a *****
They say they’re worried of my composure
They are the reason I changed my figure

Skin and bones they say
But they said I was the size of a sleigh
I did this for them to make them happy
But here I am unhappy and former fatty

the dressing room mirror is scratched
but i still see
i still color
i am blue between the seams
these cut off my circulation
they are sizes too small for an ocean like me
they are tempting
my body and i mourn for one another
my body and i mourn like storms
mother to my flesh
i am a failed mother
my body is too young
for the things i’ve seen
is out of form
we are oceans fighting oceans
spilling into one another
my body and i love like
we are waves
we are breaking
and moving          stones

i sometimes joke that i'm going to win the lottery & use the money to spoil my cats,
but, realistically, i would use the money to buy a gym membership & a month-after-month-long supply of protein shakes
so that i could be skinny.

mother frowns at stick thin girls;
i'm not sure if it is the size zero that worries her lip, or my longing,
or that she does not understand the comfort in emptiness.

look—
this world is ugly,
but others are perhaps uglier.
when all is broken, at least i shall have my hunger

what is it that keeps you whole?
i want to kiss something beautiful,
& hold it between my lips forever.