I washed her
from my pillow-slips.

In a white plastic bucket
I soaked away her body's breath,
and with bleach removed
the evidence she had  left.

We snatched the time
to make our marks
with sweat and
firm commitments.

The stains on stolen sheets
proved easier to erase
than those she ground into
the fabric of my room,

I watched as
traces of our time
together
turned the water dark.

The funny farm is the place to be.
We have soft beds, prescription meds, and cable TV.
When we party, someone loses their job,
or they might lose a limb if we form a mob.
It's one of those places you want to find yourself.
Electroshock is fun if you bring pop and chips.
Careful being around us, we're bad for your health.
Best of all, we're about to set sail on our blanket ships.
To the unknown and out of room 213!
Quick, hand me the bleach, I want to feel clean!

If I died my hair
Could we pretend it isn't me
I bleached my hair
Let's bleach the voices in my ****** up head
Fleeting memories, so what if they're dead

i'm making fish sticks in the kitchen drinking a blue moon
thinking about how i sat gracefully, weightless on your back while you laid there shirtless and i squeezed every knot out of you
like wringing a bleached towel out
and you
switched, sitting on top of me rubbing that sweet ******* anthropologie scent into my skin
and i told you what i wanted for christmas  and you apologized for getting cheeto dust on my down comforter
and we'll drive halfway across the country just to find ourselves in it
and you apologized for doing coke
and i apologized for not caring
and you held my face between your hands like some kind of heart shaped pebble you found on the beach
and i was glowing
and you let me scratch at you with needles and i was glowing
but i don't love you, and i don't think i could

Where were you when I needed you?
I did more than ask you to stay, I pleaded you to.

All you were was another broken promise.
But to be honest, followed by you leaving was a certain calmness.
Because telling you I loved you, felt  like choking on *****.

I told you anyway,
Because I just wanted you to stay.
But all those White Lies, bleached my insides.
It spread in strides, and when it reached my lungs
It stung, I call out for help, And nobody comes.

Do you know what It's like to drown in bleach?
While watching everyone around you breathe?

© copyrighted *Nicole Ann Osborn

I can’t make out what he’s saying  
Why is he speaking so slow?  
A drug coursing through my veins?  
I want to retort  
But, this lengthy pause in my throat….  
When will my first syllables reach the air around me?  
Is it air that surrounds me?  
I can’t feel it on my skin, my face  
The sky appears to be motionless  
How long as it been since the clouds moved?  
It’s been months, no, years,  
Centuries since I felt my heartbeat  
So much time to think, to dream,  
I can’t remember the last time I took a breath  
Am I still exhaling?  
Am I even?  
I feel old  
Far older than I was when this battle began  
As old as time itself  
He tricked me, it wasn’t supposed to be like this  
How long has it been since his blade pierced my arm?  
When will I feel the pain from this razor’s edge on my palm?  
How much longer before it reaches my heart?  
I can’t take it anymore!  
**** you, Stop torturing me!  
Hurry, hurry, hurry!  
Hurry up and **** me!