What a fan-*******-tastic day it's been
I'm so happy, I could scream
I was hoping for a nightmare, but I only got a dream

And my dream was full of meadows, flowing streams and singing birds
But I hated all their songs
because they didn't have words

******* birds and your lousy chirping
I'd rather hear the alphabet from a drunk guy burping
So quit your constant squawking, I don't think you're pretty
Your singing is like car horns honking in the city

Waking back up from my hellish dream
I tripped down a hill and fell in a stream
I couldn't see because of the fog
So I grabbed onto Bigfoot, thinking he was a log

And as the sun shone its rays down onto my skin
I screamed at the sky "God, where have you been?"
But alas, still no answer. Still no sign of light
I'll believe God exists the day he's in my sight

For now, Mr. Sunshine, stay out of my sight
I'm done with your false face shining so bright
Last time I saw you, my eyes caught on fire
Now I am blind, and my pupils expired

Fan-*******-tastic, this whole day has been
I wish I could live it again and again
I just can't stop smiling, I just can't quit grinning
Let's start this great day over from the beginning!