I woke naked atop a sheet lying on the floor
next to a pile of plastic hangers on one side,
her body pressed to mine on the other,
and the faint scent of *** and cigarettes on the air.
Although I doubt you could call it waking
when she and I had such little sleep.

Her alarm was going off somewhere in the haze
and I could feel her skin peel off of mine as
she got up to silence it and call out of work.
I took a deep breath, reveling in the stale air,
and sat up with my back pressed to the wall.
My eyes closed and flashbacks came to the
forefront of my vision from the night before,
my mouth full of her neck,
moans in the dark,
her face leaning out of the window above me
as I smoked outside in my boxers.

I shook myself awake
and the goddess strode her way back in
slowly and salaciously, in a dance with
my tired eyes as they traced the faint figure
that shone through her loose shirt
in the morning light.

I could feel the little time we had
slipping through the curved
hourglass of her body,
and I stood to meet her smile
with a kiss, pulling her against me
with one hand and losing the other one
somewhere in the oceanic waves of her hair.

The flashbacks came again, but differently now.
Years of memories coursed through my mind,
all the times she'd been right in front of me
yet I was too blind to truly see her as I did then.

We dressed slowly in the din of the busy street outside,
gathering the last of her belongings in the empty apartment
and taking them down to her car.

I stepped into the sunlight and lit up a smoke,
it was going to be a hot day,
and she locked the door behind us for the last time.

The car welcomed us as she turned the engine over,
and I buckled up whilst cracking a beer.
The wheels began to spin, I took a long slug,
and she smoked the last three drags of my cigarette,
flicking it carelessly out of the window.

Trying to face facts
I have ignored
For a long while
These are the thoughts
Of a man
With his own style
Refusing to be owned
By things this or that
Keeping me taught
Trying to cut some slack
To the feeling of where we at
But I'm a natural born star
I'm in the distance
Knowing I have to go far

This one's for you.
My free spirit up in the sky,
I know you are watching me.
My toes in the sand
My eyes on the crashing waves
Beer in my hand
As the jazz blares in the background.

So this one's for you
Because I know that if you could be,
You'd be here too.

If you think this isn't reality
Then *******
Accept the fact that misery
Is misery, and if that won't do
Then know that I know why
But I won't tell you.

Disturbia is my life
**** Rhianna for
Envisioning a sick truth,
Then not exposing the demon
That lied to you.

The truth, it is far fetched.

the day i left for good he wrapped me in an inescapable bear
hug that made me feel like i was
gonna stop breathing in
3
2
1...

we listened to a whole lotta
tom petty which is the reason why
whenever i'm scanning through
the radio on those drives i go on too often
that lead to nowhere and
i hear "refugee" or "free fallin"
i skip.

i read a lot to him and he
always listened to everything i had to say
and the 290th time of the day that i'd say
"****" and everytime i said something even remotely
twisted a small smirk would
gradually paint on his lips
and then he'd laugh
and say it was a good thing we loved each other
otherwise he would think i was severely
****** up in the head.

he loved my heart shaped sunglasses
and he said i made him feel
like he was living in a time warp
where it was 1989 every millisecond
of every waking hour of every day
and i loved his eternal youthfulness
that sent fireworks flying through my
central nervous system.

and when he released me from the
wrath of his arms he promised
that we were gonna sit on his
back porch and crack open
some brews at midnight
and tell stories when i came back home.

i miss him more than the sun misses
the moon in the morning light
my partner in crime,
my adrenaline ******,
my sagittarius.

-*z. vega

Koozies keep the beer cold
They keep your hand warm
And your beer cold
Which is nice
When most thing are more complicated
Or more intricately disappointing

I find little to do
Besides stare from one screen to the next
And back and back again
Rechecking the same websites
The same hiss of the tab being popped

Sitting in one room
While thinking of many rooms
None of it really makes any sense
This inherited feeling of unease
Wanting just to be close to you
To actually kiss you
Meaning it
Having some feeling behind something

Not wanting to rush from one thing to the next
Just wanting to be stuck in that one moment with you
Tasting your saliva
Feeling your tongue, probing
Like some rogue octopus tentacle

There is nothing that fills the hollowness
Like you  
You are the echoing clatter of pebbles
Thrown down a dark ravine
Replacing space with substance
One haphazard toss
After another

The handshake comes much quicker
Than it used to in the days
When he held his liquor better
Those times are far away
"Let me shake you by the hand"
he'd bellow in the bar
But, now his grip is weaker
Than it once had been, by far
He used to drink 'till closing
Now, two beers and he is done
He no longer knows his limit
He no longer drinks for fun
The drinks control his shaking
Keep him centered, full of hate
Once he shakes you by the hand
It means things aren't so great
He squeezes hard to make you hurt
Trying to show what he once was
But it only shows his smallness
It accentuates his flaws
Mr "Let me shake you by the hand"
Is in every bar we know
He's quiet when he gets there
But he's loud when time to go
He no longer rules the table
He's just an old drunk in the back
He used to be the favorite
He no longer has that knack
He'll always be a little man
He'll never look you in the eye
Mr. "Let me shake you by the hand"
Will be the same until he dies
In his mind he's full of power
But his body shows what's real
A strong wind would break this man in half
I can't guess how his wife feels
Two beers can change his being
From someone pleasant to an ***
"Mr. Let me shake you by the hand"
gets drunk and turns quite crass
If you ever go out drinking
And your evening is planned
Leave...and in a hurry
If you hear ...."shake your hand."

back when summertime
sadness was hip.
beating hearts felt like butterflies
trapped in a plastic water
bottle trying their hardest
to get out and bodies of water
that were frighteningly black but as clear as
broken glass and
worn down cowboy boots
and perfectly fragmented
scarlet and burnt orange
canyons
and crushed
beer cans by the firepit
and isolation and
inescapable infatuation.
the world was so beautiful and
almost ethereal but it wasn't
familiar. like it had been
taken apart and put back
together differently than before.

-*z. vega

You've made no effort
For me
But every effort to lift a bottle to your ******* mouth.

I love you
Im sorry
I miss you
Do not act as a get out of jail free.

You've sullied
Longing
Remorse
And affection.

You've made me the thing
You never wanted me to be
By never choosing me
Over superfluous drinks.

Hangovers
Tummy aches
Early starts
Never get in the way of you
And the thing that matters most.

If only I were on tap,
But I'm not the right blend.