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Sarah Flynn Apr 2021
I cared so much about
everyone else that

I must've forgotten
how it felt to care
about myself too.
Sarah Flynn Apr 2021
when I was younger,
I had these hopes and dreams
and this one huge goal.

I wanted to leave this world
a little better off than it was
before I existed in it.



now, I've realized that
all I want is to
leave this world

and I don't care if
it's better off or not.
Sarah Flynn Apr 2021
I thought that by now
I'd be happy.

I've been battling
these demons for
so, so long.

I don't want to lose.
I don't want to give up.
I just don't feel like
I'm able to keep fighting.

the truth is, I'm not
strong enough
anymore.

I need help,
but I don't want it.


please, teach me how to
disappear in peace
without taking
a piece of you
with me.

you need to
remain whole.
you need to
fill in the gap
left by my absence.
you need to
keep fighting.

keep fighting.
do what I couldn't.
please...
solfang Apr 2021
she said
I should suppress
my feelings for now
and she is right;

deep down I'm just
too tired to fight;
sometimes I find myself
walking further from the light;
and for that I feel like
my life can never be bright
(cont. from previous poem)
my therapist said that it is best if I increase my dosage, so I can temporarily suppress my feelings
solfang Apr 2021
she asked,
"what is the cause
of your endless sadness?";
and I answered,
"nothing unusual,
it's just inner madness"
went to therapy today; doctor said I'll need to have a few more sessions to resolve my problems. Have to increase my dosage as well.

just as I thought I was getting better.
Raven Apr 2021
I feel it....
The urge,
The scratch,
The knuckle,
The crack,
The sound,
The glimpse,
The silence....

Change, inwardly evolving into every step I make, every word I say, every breath I take.
What is at stake?

I struck myself at a forsaken introspection.
Becoming, someone new.
Someone dark, and someone light.
Someone who I never thought I could be.
Intensity strikes and the magic I have been hiding resurfaces.
I am many forms...
Of me.

I then, start to see.
She was just a cover, but now I unfold and surface at my most enlightened peak.
I feel me, I know me.
Yet, it's a monumental battle of self, constantly changing, having different outlooks.
Allowing perception to take shape into different formulas.

I found myself, lost in the darkness, and lost in the light.
The substantial view of solitude has awoken a part of me that was lurking in the shadows of what I thought I was losing.

Space, moving slowly, at a pace, with no fight or race, but a high vibration of intentional awareness that I now foresee, down, and high, the pits of me as I grow to actually be.

The me I had lost, the new version of what I thought me would be.
Profusely intertwining with chaotic yet peaceful mindless thoughts.

I feel it...
No hassle,
No chase,
No worry,

Just peace.
I accept me.
Anemone Mar 2021
let the swords clash
let the shields fall
hold strong, hold the line
and protect them all

let my blade be my guide
with my brothers by my side
though the battle may be ******
we will never back down
we will stand by each other
defending our crown
Anemone Mar 2021
let pure water wash away
the remains of the ray
let it clear all but my conscience
as the moon shines brighter
as my shoulders bare, are weighted lighter
the chainmail as ***** as I feel
covered in blankets of blood

I cannot sleep, I cannot rest, I cannot deal
I cannot stop
I will fight until I drop

wash it away
wash it away
still, invisible scars remain
they stain
they stain
they stain
Jamesb Mar 2021
War is hell and battles
Are ****** and hard
Whether in flander's fields
Or spiritual plains,

As I sit scrubbing ocre
From my sword's flanks
Lest it's vitriol pit
My blade

I test the edge and run
An oilstone along to
Finesse away dullness,
And look around

At a post martial landscape
Littered with scorched scars Where demons were,
And shell holes whence

Came criticism and ungrateful
Viciousness and suspicion,
And realise for the ten Thousandth time

There is no victory in valour,
Nor glory in a battle won,
Just a grubby pause before
The next attack
Just musing on the nature of a life spent stepping up
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