The sleep of the sword does not answer my call
Sweet Jezebel sways with the winds of the fall
While the Goosegrass loudly beckons, singing to stay
The Foxgloves, they whisper “one day, one day”.

I’m longing to be respectfully flame-farewelled
But the Lion’s Tooth sees that my dreams are dispelled
In the sweet summer madness, my Devil’s Milk pride
Shrivels and dies; looks like Ring-a-Bells lied

With a wave of my hand the swan of blood lands,
And the spear-din begins
With a noble glance the troops advance
Chieftains or kings, breakers of rings

The winter begs death and the is-ness of song
My soft sophomania playing along
A hymn on the psaltery drifts for a dime
Of seven sweet maidens missing in time

Tell me plainly, why does the spring make me ill?
Pale, shaking hands cling to the old timbrel.
A melodic pain, the kind honey can’t draw out.
And the whispering doubt, **** as sauerkraut

With a wave of my hand the swan of blood lands,
And the spear-din begins
With a noble glance the troops advance
Chieftains or kings, breakers of rings

You were never cautious with your art,
I was always careful with my heart
Unless I poured it out like a dove
Are you mourning me from heaven above

I am mourning you from hell below
I guess that freedom was not the way to go
And the old dried herbs sing from above my grave
I’ve never behaved, I’ve never been brave

With a wave of my hand I watched your blood land
On my ***** kitchen floor
Without a chance, in a frightened stance
No longer poor, I walked out the door
The final test, was it for the best?
No belt hook swings, pale, wicked things
My freedom came at the price of the flame

Farewell my lover,
Fare thee well.

what silly things are boundaries,
imaginary lines that tell people what they can and can't do.

i can not tell you what my boundaries look like,
for i never had them.

i was a child of use,
every aspect of me was someone else's.

so when my therapist decreed boundaries as my way to light,
as my ticket to mental health salvation,
i did my best.

it was pathetic really.
please don't touch me,
i said in the nicest most placating way i could,
i just don't really like it.

i tried and i failed.
for a child who was so used to achievement,
this failure hit me hard.

it was pathetic.
absolutely pathetic.
what was pathetic?
how easily those who were supposed to listen to me,
support me,
love me,
steamrolled that whimsy little fence i called a boundary.
they annihilated it,
dropped a metaphoric nuke on it with their sneers and greed.

no war is ever won in the first battle though.
so i will keep trying.

Being trapped in the castle
Since i was little
Never finish the riddle
Drives me to the trouble
Fell in love with devil
All of me is going evil
Someone please rescue me from this battle

I've read the stories of people who have given up
Dont be discouraged things can always look up
But once you dip and you dip really low
Someone will notice but no one will know
You can go day by day and no one will see
That there is a battle you are tired of fighting
You've already lost is how it may seem
But trust me dear you are winning
By fighting your exhaustion with you tears
No one will see your sadness or fear
Just keep it up and you will see
That if no one notices then you are free
You cry for attention so someone will take your place
But you mustn't give up you've earned your space
You're doing it right
by living your life
We all make mistakes
This can be seen a space for you always will be

For years I have belonged to you,
Obeyed every command.
Although you beat me black & blue,
We walked life hand in hand....

To you, I was just a loyal slave,
You grabbed my broken heart
You wanted me down in my grave,
You are deviously smart....

I saw it that you were my all,
Sir smack and captain crack,
you laughed each time that I did fall,
And you still try to attack!

You stole my morals, drained my life,
Worse was I lost my child.
You caused me so much pain and strife
You made me ferrel and wild!

I don't fear death, I've been to hell,
Many times you dragged me down.
This time'll be different you would tell,
Give me more white & brown.

The depths of which I'd go for you,
Were nasty, *****, bad.
But I thought that our love was true
But now I see how sad!

I did blame you but now I see,
How I was very wrong,
Infact you are a part of me,
Was blinded for so long.

So now I'm armed up to the teeth,
Though you'll always be there,
Testing me, festering beneath
But you had better beware....

Coz to the surface you may pop,
Every now and then,
But I ave a big **** axe,
To give your head the chop!

Kate Longshaw **

Chronic illness isn’t
Some beautiful
Pale
Girl sitting under a tree,
Book in hand.
It’s no romantic tragedy
Or heartfelt tear-jerker
It’s
Sitting on the floor of your bedroom
2 am
Trying not to cry because
You wanted to be in bed three hours ago
Your body didn’t.
It’s
Obsessively tracking every
Food and drink
Symptom and medication
It’s
Juggling four doctors and work
All at once
It’s
Trying not to *****
Struggling to stand
Fighting
To exist

Do you know the demons I'm fighting?
The battles I'm losing?
The suffering I'm experiencing?

I want this war to be over.
But right now I am not winning,
I cannot take control.
The demons are winning
And I am just submitting.

To surrender is my only other option
It's fight or die.
But to surrender is to wave my flag,
To admit I am weak.

My white flag will not wave,
I will not back down.
Even when the thoughts get so strong
And it seems to be the only way out.

I will not surrender to the demons inside.
But the battles I lose, will not be a loss.
Only a celebration for a day soon to come,
A day only I seem to find joy in

That, my friend,
Will be my death.