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Reflexively, i shut down
as trauma floods my mind.

What a ridiculous reason to cry,
what a childish fault.

One word.
Just
"Yep."
and my world crashes around me.

**** you, Lucy.
You'll never know what a decade old sentence can do.

My psyche shatters

and i fold inside myself
and my words are silenced
(but my Thoughts are not)
and my eyes are wet
and i am torn to pieces

as rough hands work to fit me back into my mold.
Elizabeth Brown Dec 2018
The way to insanity is through perpetual pleas for pain.
Only after
years
of hoping that- one day- my mind would die,
have I finally found bliss within pain.
I cannot be alone in this,
of that I'm certain.

I have seen suffering,
have lived through pain,
and I remain.
If I can do it, so can you.
Elizabeth Brown Dec 2018
Look how far we've come.
Look closer and see how we've fallen.
Now look once more... and see what we've become.

We are the beasts that will **** this world;
the creators of our own demise.

The human race has driven itself

so
far
into the
depths

that they have lost the path to redemption.
Elizabeth Brown Dec 2018
I sit, alone, through the days and nights, accompanied only by
the beating of my heart; that
r h y t h m
which is the only consistency we have to cherish.
The routines we build for ourselves breed change.
Nothing is steadfast.

As humans, we were made to falter.
We wish and fight and dream,
yet fall short of our own expectations.
What Great Being decided it was a good idea to grant the human race
Autonomy?
Elizabeth Brown Nov 2018
Can you feel my pain?
The constant need to tear myself apart?
The intensity with which I loathe myself?
Can you see what is eating me alive?
The tears behind my bright eyes?
The darkness in which I hide my inner self?

Masks for every occasion.
A constant scene
in which I play limitless characters...
portray a plethora of emotions.
The curtain will someday close,
though not many even know it's open.

Freedom is what I long for.
A place and time where I can be my true self.
A person who understands who I am,
and is not afraid.
Perhaps freedom comes in the form of death.
Til I try I'll never know.
5/30/11
Elizabeth Brown Nov 2018
Here I go again;
putting you to the forefront of my mind.
pushing these words back and back, endlessly
...simply because you opened your eyes.
is beauty more important than art?
I had a whole *** poem, and lost it because my boyfriend woke up. Typical, scatterbrained me.
Elizabeth Brown Nov 2018
If we taught tolerance instead of fear,
how many lives would we have spared this year?

If we taught acceptance instead of hate,
if we taught kids to commiserate,
to see what others have on their plate,
that would make America great.
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