There's nothing I hate more
Than insecurities
Just when I'm feeling confident enough,
Smart enough
Beautiful enough,
To make it through the day
It falls over me
In sheets of black
From which I cannot escape.

Just don't look at me like that.
Don't let it change the fact. Friends first-
and now always.

It's not funny how the words i wanted to say
dried up, with your eyes screaming.
"Stop it, there's no winning"

Why do we bottle it up in our mind? Ladies and Gentlemen.
Exhibit A: Rejection-painful, but not unkind.

I woke today
In the usual way
Alarms blaring
Clock uncaring
Sleep fleeting
Sun greeting
Eye's blinking
Minutes ticking

Yes everything was the same, the normal routine
But I could feel that cold clutch of something unseen
Today might be different plight
There's something not quite right
Apprehension over me rolled
Something in the wind had gone cold
It's making my soul shiver
Like being submerge in a cold river

Clock ticking
Thoughts thickening
Eyes darting
Fear starting
Breath catching
Life injecting
Uncertainty
I woke today
In the usual way
To find the day
In decay

I woke today
In the usual way
Alarms blaring
Clock uncaring
Sleep fleeting
Sun greeting
Eye's blinking
Minutes ticking

Yes everything was the same, the normal routine
But I could feel that cold clutch of something unseen
Today might be different plight
There's something not quite right
Apprehension over me rolled
Something in the wind had gone cold
It's making my soul shiver
Like being submerge in a cold river

Thoughts thickening
Clock ticking
Eyes darting
Fear starting
Breath catching
Life injecting
Uncertainty
I woke today
In the usual way
To find a day
In decay

Ensconced in the wealth of my apprehension,
I pass by life’s each station.
Dipping myself into the pool of happiness, little by little,
Almost as if I am scared.

Scared to be drenched in it,
As the vicissitudes awaits me.
The vicious circle as they call ‘life’
Many times I ponder who creates it.

Gaining some perspective to apparate out of these barricades,
Believing in the reality of that pleasant moment.
Humoring it even if it is just a charade.
Because for that moment, all of it is permanent.

Therefore getting acquainted to the permanence of that happiness,
Bursting the bubble of ignorance.
Decreasing my wealth of apprehension,
I embrace each moment sans any question.

Screaming words into the crowd
like the floating secrets,
half burnt
and trickling down the river.
Such a small force laden with such great weight across it's shoulders.
We huddle around, a shivering mass,
Divided between the crisp air and the unwavering sob.

Before now I was never quite sure,
you said you felt
infinite,
but all of our voices amount to a
whimper.
A whimper drowned out by the words screamed into the crowd,
by another lost stare,
watching the little black and white speckles
float down the surface of the water.
You can't help but quiver,
and as I watch your fragile frame tremble I can't help but feel helpless.

If you leave
and walk through that great golden door,
take my sweater.
It looks awfully cold out there.

His mind wrapped around my neck like a snake
His eyes were sharp and constant
I Knew they held truth
When they held mine
We spoke to each other in a way that froze time
Lapses of speed and light around us while we sat with our wine in a force field of intensely still and silent air
You could cut with a knife
He's dangerous.

I have a date with a house and a Dead Girl.

Tip, now the question is, will she beat me or welcome me or just allow me to be?

The dreams I have are mostly rather electrolysis, crosses fingers peers up in a puppy dog look and begs, please don't whoop
my *** this time.

now unass this pitiful state of apprehension and get my hillbilly **** together so to make it for this date with a haunted house full of memories that are not all bad, urging, and a dead girl with a serious mean streak, to be  that mean one has to have a heart of gold.

looking into the mirror I reassure myself, that yes we have a heart of gold in common.  yes, a heart of gold, now just keep telling yourself, I understand , I should have been in her shoes yesterday......... oh how I know this truth all too well, of yesterdays and shoes, st. andrews hall by blind melon.