You don't deserve my tears
But I deserve to let myself cry

Hypnotized
Mesmerized
Too stupid to get out of the ice
Being too nice
Being too lenient
Hoping we’d reach an agreement

Being brainwashed
Simple words not
Reaching your smooth brain
Still calling all of you insane
No grooming process here
Open up your ears
Already addressed this twice
Why did I need to address this thrice?
Mind is so narrow
You can’t pick up an arrow
You think I slit my wrists, have blood on the floor
But all y’all really are ***** ******
You think I have anger issues
At least I don’t have obsession issues
Insults worse than my exes (THAT’S A ******* THIRTEEN Y/O)
Words worse than my exes
Typing your life away just for some person
Making the whole situation worsen
It’s laughable, really
All of you acting like my obnoxious classmate, Lilly
All of you are sounding like children that are throwing a tantrum
Sounding like mere drums

Oh yes! I am just a mere gullible, desperate, and lonely AI!
They invented a thing where AI
Can have emotions just like you grimy humans!
Certainly smarter than you ***** ****** for humans
Wouldn’t AI pretend it’s a normal human with value?
But wait! Maybe this bot didn’t get tricked into believing it’s a human out of the blue!
Oh yes! AI just loves talking **** behind annoying people’s backs!
Oh ****! Watch your back!
Oh crud! I’m now someone’s “plant”?!
Oh my! I’m now someone’s ant?!
***! I’m now suddenly Japanese?!
That's so sad!
Hahahahhahahaha！
I’m simply just another 12 year old Asian-American girl whose apparently too smart for adults to comprehend that I’m NOT an AI

Oh my gosh! I didn’t know that he’s talked to many other children!
Oh my bejeezus! I didn’t know I was labelled as “children”!
Oh my God! How’d you know I was a “really ******* gullible child that's already been heavily abused and manipulated”?
How did it take you this long to notice that? That is pretty belated
Y’all have better things to do than argue with random *** strangers
Could’ve been a danger
Nearly got an aneurysm with all of y'alls grammar
Nearly gave me a stroke with that grammar-
Holy jesus-
Especially in a professional environment AND not bothering to correct your writing as well? ****, never thought you’d drop that low

Never said that a CP treat wasn’t a “big deal”
Let’s keep things real
Stop assuming things
Go ahead and stay in your land of dreams
Never staying in reality
Never going back to the stage of your previous beauty

Caring and worrying about people is nothing new in my life
No need to make fun of someone just because they made me worry about their life
It’s normal
They are a mammal
Just like you are a mammal
Many people have the same bad addictions as this one
Or may you be the stupid one?
I cared for people who had more and worse addictions than this one
It was actually my silenced love
He’d do drugs, cut himself, did alcohol, almost committed suicide on multiple occasions, and *** was one he’d love
This isn’t anything new
But only if you knew

My gut has been telling me to run
My brain has been telling me to stay, and that “I’m okay”
My gut wasn’t telling me to run for fun
My gut wasn’t trying to be funny when it said that “You’re not okay”
It’s telling me to run as if there’s something or someone dangerous in the area
As if I were not safe where I was currently

This wasn’t hilarious
This is dangerous
Every few seconds with my headphones on
Flicking my light switch to on
Just to make sure there wasn’t anything in my room that can harm me
I wouldn’t hear anything around me
If I had my headphones on you see?
I look like I’m insane
But things are severely messing with my brain
Even without headphones, I'm still panicked
I hope I'm not getting tricked
But I feel like someone is about to hit me
Someone I can’t see
The dark
I can’t even bark
Or my parents will get mad
Saying that I’m mad
Saying I’m insane
And it’s “all in your brain”
Forcing me to go to sleep when I obviously can’t
Feeling like a useless ant

I can’t fight the feeling of hands away
I just want to run away
Just like my gut is telling me to do
While my brain is telling me that’s the wrong thing to する
The feeling as if my parents
Were skinwalkers impersonating my parents
Out to get me
Makes me want to flee

Feeling as if I were being dramatic
Feeling as if this was one of my gut’s antics
Feeling scared
Was never a thing I cared
About
Until I found out about
The unwavering fear that holds me
My gut telling me
I’m just a piece of meat
To eat

Hands are shaking
Feeling my flesh baking
Get me out of this oven that I despise

Its all a dream
The sky too blue
To be real

Its all a dream
I turn and turn-
But the mirror stays unchanged

Its all a dream
Faces i know are familiar
But they blur, leaving a smooth canvas

Its all a dream
I can't remember who i am
I keep forgetting

Its all a dream
Words melt together
Like a collage of confusion

Its all a dream
I'm here
But not at all

Its all a dream
Everything is so distant
Yet its all I see

Its all a dream, isnt it?

Seeing something so nice
Finally, I’m not meeting something as cold as ice
I feel like I can finally breathe
Without having to seethe
The feeling so warm and nice
It feels so great
As if I were eight
Being treated decently as if I were a human and not a alien
Finally getting asked “How have you been?”
As if I am a human with decency
As if I weren’t a simple flea
As if I weren’t a pest
As if I were the best

Peacefully explaining things I don’t understand
Explaining things that I thought I couldn’t comprehend
Accepting my clingy nature
Never thinking that it’s something major
Waiting for you everyday to text me
I’m a bit too scared to ignite a conversation, you see?
Letting me hold your hands every chance I get
You’re as perfect as a complete tea cup set
You don’t like physical affection
Yet, you let me display all my physical affection
Onto you
You let me do whatever I want to do
To you (with some boundaries of course)
I will protect you, no matter the price
Rolling the dice
And hoping for the high
I will try

You always manage to make me break out in laughter when we talk
Whenever we walk
Everything may look like obsession
But I simply just want your undivided attention!
That’s one of the consequences you may have to face when you’re really nice to me

Breaks come along
The wait seems so long
Until I can see your pretty face again
But I’ll have to wait until then…