a hand
a hello
an embrace
What flesh do you hold
Who does it belong
to

i feel as a doll
in its playhouse
Trudging between plastic
bright, wallpaper rooms
Daises and lavish paisley
peeling

Will I ever trust the very heart
on my sleeve
let alone place it
in your hands
Meaning is like words
It is claimed, they are said
Truth remains elusive
from reality

still here
these stars
what might they look like
in places where i used to be
old homes and destinations
i always needed to depart
their shimmer
is it that much brighter?
without enough of me
to recognize
myself at night
when i look at the clouds to find
that stars are callous
unconcerned
about me or the yous i lost
no future now worth speaking of
just little lamps
and bland emotions
the usual, you might say

if solitude were virtue
would this for once not make me
a somebody to reckon with

You turn around,
You call my name
But I no longer believe the same;
There's paper stacked upon your window pane.

The clocks are worn,
My boots are torn,
They've come some way since they were born
And things that shine often do not conform.

A whisper here
Is a thunder there,
A glass of wine to lay it bare;
Don't tell me silence dwells behind that stare.

You don't run fast
Because you must;
It's fine to break out from your crust
And build a smile that's free from all your lust.

We're far apart
But all the same;
Forget the shapes and forms and blame
And you will see we walk down the same lane.

I walk through eyes
So close and distant
Depending on how long the instant;
Some grow warm while others grow resistant.

They think I am cold,
And distant,
Some would say aloof.
I glare at everyone I see,
Ignore anyone who talks,
Shut out my friends and family.

I retreat into myself,
Into my room,
Into whatever dark corner I can find
Because the pain of facing them,
Enduring another heartbreak,
It's just too much to bear.

I've tried to let people in,
Let them see my warmer side,
Show them who I truly am.
All they do is tear a **** in my heart,
And leave me to bleed,
To die with only myself as company.

So I am cold.
I am distant.
I am aloof.
I glare at everyone.
I talk to no one.
I shut out my friends and family.
But only to protect myself
From all the pain they will cause,
And all the lies they will tell.
I protect myself from the world,
And they protect themselves from me.