I got places I need to go

I got people I need to see

I got plans to change the world

but first I need to ***

There is nothing wrong about aging. We all have been aging since we came to life. To exist means to age.

All this life sought
Was in my feet forward,
Backing into stumble on rocks
With no path, life is an S curve

It hurts to fall hard
Worse yet
Is to not know why
I walked at all

A cool spring morning
In the rain with my canine on lead
Rushes into the glade
Where a doe may rest unaware

Still at old age I know, nothing
Every morning in the dark
My eyes open, for what?
I have lost all meaning of why

Are the next rising suns
Teachers on the green that
Remain after the snow melts
A reason for standing up?

I lost track of my dog in the meadow
As I listen to a poet who says
That tomatoes do not bleed
Is my life a fruit I can eat

Through the spring branches
I see a home below, pale yellow
A white door and a pane of glass
Asking, will I come forward more

An unknown, will I care to find out
Where is the deer and my dog
The door seductively beckons,
Walk this way with strong shoulders

Every day is an opening
For planting new things
Or letting the past burn to ash
Stunned in body and bones my trips to the ground

The knees and hands ******
And worn, as the apple skin
Holds a hole from the worm
I am the fruit as much as the scar that shines, happening now

Memory garbage dump
Holding everything old
Aged releasing all

I've realized my brain
Swollen from decades of thought
Now, only wants now

Goodbye to the past
Earth quakes releasing the crust
Cliffs of synapse fall

Not too old to dance
Not too big to rumba
Never passing up a chance
To feel a little younger

Still learning some new steps
Hearing brand new beats
Sensing curious rhythms
Finding both my feet

Using all my muscles
Controlling my meander
With a God given freedom
To release the inner dancer

Old friends say they see
The dancer that they knew
They recognise the steps
Each one tried and true

So, whilst I’m not as spry
And maybe I’m less graceful
You won’t stop me dancing
Just not on any tables

A pack of pipe cleaners expertly twist into
Some itching bouquet of flowers
How can you blush just at the view
Of rosy strangers that eschew you

Being far away as a vacation destination
Locked in a fridge magnet, where for weeks
Summer heat like aftosa
Spread over your butter-yellow cheeks

Drops of pool-blue in a ***** ravine
Poorly polished toes bristle
Abjectly against a palette of olive-skinned
Limbs closing in like shingles on a roof

Plucking pestilent hairs from your nostril
Can make you feel important for years
The hearing aid wolf-whistles once
As you explode into tears

From birth until now
How I’ve loved you,
Wonder of my soul-
The light that shines home
A universe I would build for you
As time marches on,
My days grow shorter
And vision begins to blur
Unable to see the greater beyond

But should you go before me
Know that I’ll be right behind you
It will be okay, my sweetest princess
(I don’t want you to go)

I’ve had my fill,
Saw the heights of the hills
watching stars shoot across
As I wished upon them all
And you came to be,
Miraculous and free
I knew heaven was real

So don’t waste a moment,
Looking back at what could have been
When your future is bright
And our time is running out
I’m up and over all my best days
But if I could do it over I’d replay
The very moment you were conceived
Was the very moment I came to be
I just want to make you proud
Before I go.

But should you go before me,
I’ll be right behind you
Slay any demon calling,
Until we reach singularity
Know on my death bed, darling
I don’t want you to go…

Years carry weight,
I’m drowning in sorrows of regret
And hoping the tide won’t take you
But I know, as you grow, you’ll fly the nest
Find your own in and out of our orbit
I’ll wish upon the stars that take you-
To your destined path
I hope that you’ll remember me

But should you go before me
I’ll be right beside you,
Conquer any evil, but my dear
I don’t want you to go…

Today is my birthday.
In the last 15 years,
I got married twice,
Divorced once,
Gave birth to three kids,
Started two businesses,
Shifted to two cities.

Broke my knee once,
Mended it twice.
Published a book,
Traveled a lot,
Learned a lot,
Cried a lot,
Laughed a lot.

I taught,
And I talked.
Understood love,
Drowned in self-doubt,
Learned to be proud.

Had a lot of hair fall,
Found the courage to stand up tall.

So, today is my birthday.
In the past 15 years,
I understood age is just a number.
I am still that 15-year-old,
Wondering what adventure
Is in store for the next round.

Another gray hair?
Oh well.
Guess I’m silvering
One step closer to being a timber wolf
And I still adore the night
Howling at the moon, dancing with the stars
Seeing how the lights attract
I’m a moth to the neon
Listen to the hum as we drift
Up and down the city trails.

One more day,
Here it comes,
Aches may pain
But I’m super, man
When the rays shine on
Can’t complain, when everything is stellar.

Out of this world and into whatever may come,
Face it on with one step forward
The chapter’s closing and a new book opens
What will I write, who will I be?
What is to come? What will we see?
Take it as it comes, inspired by inspiring
Wisdom is burning, so sit by the fire
Watch the memories play in a flicker
Stay for the s’mores and a beer

It’s gonna be one helluva year.