I have done no wrong but I'm sorry nonetheless
We could tussle with fate but that's all we get
As much as it hurts my poor soul to do so
I must accept what ever it is I find in life's roll of presents
As we are just puppets on some strings
Thespians acting according to a script
Dancers flowing like a river to a rhythm
And a singer singing along to a riddim
Beggars can't be choosers they say
So I'll stand ashore and watch you slip away
The story has no happy ever after after all
But there's still some silver lining in the dark cloud that looms over the mountain top

You loved him even after that
when the thunder came out of his body
and met you at the skin

You opened up like a shotgun
feeding the wounds with words
that never met the mirror
never came out clearer.

You loved him even after that
when the rage spilled over the rim of his cup
dousing his tongue
with the pain of you
the bitterness grew

Even after
ever after

When the nights made you hungry
and he kept you pinned under
all his lonely

You loved him even after that
You kept the scar
and swallowed the tar of his affection
opened up like a lobotomy

Even after
ever after

When he buried you
in words soaked in toxins
left you with a virus
he picked up from a married woman

You saw him even after that
even after that
never after all
never after that.

Am I really home
What is home
What isn't
Familiarity estranged
Causes and excuses
Broken lies
Forgotten promises
We all never made
Who are they
Everyone just gawking
At everything and nothing
At where I stood still
Where is myself
Left her locked up
Right she isnt
Who is the writer
Behind this
Sordid
Distorted
Broken
Poem or prose
Who am I
What am I
Is it me or is it really
You
I am here but not
The existing that's extinct
Appearing while I disappear
Depressed but not
Living like the dead

I want to show you
Just how much you mean to me
Want to say "you're perfect"
Although you don't agree

I have never been closer to heaven
True love my amazing escape
This life is rampant with suffering
Unsteady against your shape

I wish I expressed better
The love caught in my heart
Blind to my adoration
Emotions from the start

I am aware that I have caused you pain
It never was my intention
Wanted what was best for us
Not the tremendous resulting contravention

The only way to earn trust back fully
To make every decision based on you
The scars we've left on eachother
Fade into ones we never knew

I hope it is not too late to tell you
Sorry for all the heartache
Soul is incomplete without yours
Fall apart without your hand to take

Keep surprising me a zillion ways
Can't get better than this
Life with my best friend
One who gives my life purpose

That is all I need to be happy
Touch of your lips and your laughter
Conversations shared in the dark
You're simply my happy-ever-after

After everything
That we've been through

So here we are
You and I

In the same room
On the same bed

Skin to skin
Cuddling each other

before you
i felt alive

and after you
i still feel alive

as it turns out
i never needed you
to make me feel anything