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tainted black Jul 2022
i dreamt once to be swept away
by love like waves; set astray
feelings loose like golden sand
by every sweep of someone's hand

yet when it came---
it felt like troubled waters
chaotic but full of wonders
then I began to ponder,

love is like tidal waves,
larger than shallow tides
nothing like a little light---
but something that gives a sunburned heart.
a little memory of mine as i came back from the sea.
tainted black Feb 2022
i remember the embers dying,
the chest that felt the sting,
the wound that kept on aching,

the silence between rivers of thought; tempting to sing.

it hums, it buzzes
as my mind right there fuzzes---
blank--- black
what the hell was that?

everything turned gray
then rainbows, then rain
followed by a strong
h   u    r    r   i    c    a    n    e

i twirled, buzzed
fiddled and dozed
a lot more of nothing
until it became everything

the silence grew loud
i wanted to get out
its fingers--- no claws
crawled, until there was jaws

i screamed, but screaming was painful
it burned me, until i was put out.
a scribnle from a scattered thought.
tainted black Oct 2020
I was chaos in delicate lace,
in satin and taffeta; a pretty face
what they see is what I let
a peek behind; they may regret.

I was chaos in delicate lace,
with smiles charming--- tears no trace
lips with chapstick; smudge on side
nothing but a breathless ride.

I was chaos in delicate lace,
disarray with class and taste
I reek of Chanel and all things sweet,
nothing but a foul treat.

I was chaos in delicate lace,
only but a pretty face
a troubled heart and restless mind,
a woman whose love is always blind.
This one is inspired by my favourite line from the book I'm currently reading.
tainted black May 2020
the stillness of the night iginited thee
the fire beneath thy skin
a phoenix above the frosty sea
an agenda hiding within
  May 2020 tainted black
Samantha Cunha
There's a violence
amidst the white noise
Open sky
white, vast, and daunting
My eyes are shut and I can no longer
feel your presence

There is a loss of god
in my soul, and an empty
void which only expands
the more I fill

The nights melt into
the days like candle wax
and I'm dripping, dripping, dripping
melting, I am melting

Violence amidst the silence
as I seek the long, winded road
leading nowhere in particular
tainted black May 2020
I filled in my lungs with cigarette smoke
Then bathed my body with water; it's cold
I closed my eyes, and I heard my self broke
With walls breaking down and tears I can't hold
Whispers came and they had bothered me then
Matched with headache and undying flu
Funny how I felt like caged in a den
A soul behind an eye none can see through
So I took a blade and I nursed my burns
Carved out shapes that looked like comets and stars
The blade skidding in every twist and turns
To be called art when they turn into scars

But right now I am wishing myself dead
To get a pistol and blow up my head
drafted this a year back when i felt helpless, distraught and alone. glad i've got passed through it.
tainted black May 2020
i had once told you
that to the stars i talk,
filled with boisterous
l   a   u   g   h   t   e    r

something too peculiar
for your ears to hear
yet a daring smile is
what you gave me after

all loquaciousness
in my body
to the astral entities
i permit them see

it was always loud,
an enjoying ruckus
a moment of nothing
but pure glee

but when we met
in an unexpected collision
something in me stirred
and changed me be

i've learnt to talk in a
h    u    s     h
with your name like
a forbidden word to rush

feeling like i don't want
for the comets to hear
and to admire you like
how i admire you, dear
it is hard to secretly admire someone.
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