I have stared into the abyss
And it has stared back at me

Know that God was not there.

Instead, I hath walked the land of the suicides,
Asphyxiated in the blood which flowed from my open chest,
Languished in the agony of my consciousness,

And cried mercy to the divine, only to find the void -
Howling in a gnawing silence back at me

It was not “nothingness” which I hath found in the pit
For the abyss I found
Was an abundance of mirrors

The rose is at the tip of the fingers
the thorn is down the abyss what now
is a golden sun in a dew
hanging on its petal balmy hue!

The nightingale did jump on it  
first thing in the morn
but one seems to know the rose
since the dawning of the dawn!

Wish I have that
raised brow.
Let alone eying
the moon on the highs
but up to your eyes.

Neither do you
let me down.
You touch down the abyss
seal the bottom of the sea
before my teardrop falls down!

The mind it yells ‘imposter’
Each time I find the time to write
Never telling who I am, only telling who I am not.

Squawking, sulking in my ear
Drives the pen, the words to veer,
Drives the mind to that of Lears,
Into the sullenness of my volition.
Imposter, Imposter - not a syndrome but a title;

The title of my biography, the world’s class joke
The worlds least known, the worlds last hope.

I have a Saviour but I am my own,
Rather, I insist to be my own.

Hypnotized by the shadow, or not a shadow but a void,
A black void, not empty but falling,
Falling deep and a miss, falling, falling to my abyss -

Imposter Void Imposter, write your sweet nothingness,
I pity myself but I go on, Imposter Void Imposter -
Sympathetic, the abyss lends it’s kiss.

I have never wished
for anything from life

But if there is one thing
I truly wish for before
I am in the arms of death

It is
to be held
by her

To soak in her
warmth, scent,
and harmful touch

To melt deep
between her thighs
till I dissolve completely

To release an inhuman cry
from under my skin into
the dark abyss of her pupils

To be kissed by
her cruel mouth
before death comes to kiss

This ship is sinking
Ever so slowly
Nobody realizes the cracks
Hemorrhaging water

This ship is sinking
Faster by the second
Everybody panics
Salt water crashing through
The gashes in the hull

The blue abyss below
Its' mouth wide open
Waiting for another crew of victims
Poor souls cast away into the unknown

Falling into the arms of sleep
I wonder of the hardships I keep
The pain I bring, force upon myself
Upon those within my grasp
Dragging them down as I spiral
Into the abyss of my mind

- Jay M
October 15th, 2021