They say it’s a curse, disguised as a gift.

An agreement She made with the Devil.
She danced with His darkness, and prayed for departure.
So feet, He had brought,
A treat, so She thought,
She was ready,
no surrender.

A gift’s what He gave Her,
A gift, not an offer.
For this gift bore
“conditions”.

She must suffer all thoughts,
His prisoner of dark,
Given words She must remember!
So He gave Her his pen.
Darkness, returned Her.
With a gift She could bleed,
no surrender.

Yet as He returned Her,
His ‘Secrets’, He gave Her.
The warmth of His breath
still lingers...

She summons His Darkness,
She plays with The Highest.
When Dark is too Dark
She surrenders.

For that’s how She became,
such beauty, yet ugly,
That’s how He bestowed Her-
“Royal Poetess”

Your love for your man was like an ocean
Its getting deeper
Every time you sail to see his wonders
You thought you were safe
You thought you could swim
Until the storm came
The waves came running
Thunders rumbling
It destroyed your boat
You fell
And again you thought you were safe
You thought "I trust him, I will not drown"
But slowly, bit by bit
You didn't know
You were devoured by this love
You thought it was beautiful
You thought there were beautiful corals
You thought there were colorful fishes
But all you saw was thick muds
On the ocean floor
You reached the abyss
Dark crevices hovered around you
You got scared
You swam back
Trying to reach the surface
You swam back
Wishing to breathe again
But his gravity pushed you down
Your body became numb
You can't swim anymore
Your prescence disappeared
Your soul turned into words—"My love, I fought. I tried. But I'm weak and I drowned"

Past thick briers and dense thickets
Beyond inconsolable oceans and insufferable lakes
Amidst the roar of obstreperous winds
Within the abyss of calamity
I've let you past my obscurities into the forest of my heart

In return you promised your own so our forests would grow
Instead you left the seeds of hatred that grew amongst my trees
You used me as an exploit for your own selfish endeavors
Our love was made of rot and mold
The passion expired and you were gone

You left me to swim my way back
To climb past my briers and thickets
To bear the violent winds
To climb out of the dark abyss
So that I may find myself once again in clutters of debris
Spread out across the shores of what remains of me

Itches, scratches, moves under the skin,
Something deep inside me wants to be set free,
Nowhere to run from this insane obsession,
When gruesome demons are breaking from the hell within.

I want to cry, I want to scream, I want to die,
I still resist against this impulsive ****** drive,
With time, he obtains control, and all I can be thinking of is
I want to bring suffering, I want to bring fear, I want to bring the darkest abyss

Here in the darkness I lie alone
Letting her raven wings cover my ******,
Her gloomy and dreadful mystery runs through my veins,
As I slowly become one with her.

Time goes by, I’ve already fallen into the abyss,
Immersed with its darkness, my soul has been obliterated by it
Blind, deaf and emotionless, I’m fine with it
Since it’s warm and peaceful inside it, like in mothers’ belly.

But what is this?.. a light?
Haven’t seen it in years, decades of time
It burns my eyes, it kills me,
And though some say light is a savior,
For me it was just a destroyer.

She dreams in yellow waves.
In summer time she wishes that she were asleep than awake.
Eyes shut.
Weightless but not for long.
A shot of blood against the windshield.
She regrows her roots into consciousness at the speed of darkness.
She thinks.
Over contemplating the smell of burnt rubber and musky metal.
She watches her dislocated broken body wash from the ocean cliff into the abyss.

forget with you
about this world
we will go together with you
into the abyss

forget with you
about this light
we will go together with you
in the shade

o let's meet together
new testament
o let's walk together
and scream

01.10.18