lately i've been scared
worried the darkness will last
but i hope i'm wrong

i feel powerless
so backed into a corner
but i hope i'm wrong

i feel judging eyes
like i'm not just projecting
but i hope i'm wrong

i think i see it
they wince when my mouth opens
but i hope i'm wrong

i feel unwanted
it's unlucky to know me
but i hope i'm wrong

unhelpful and shamed
no one is glad i'm here, right?
i just hope i'm wrong

only by working—
my body, my only strength
my hands hold children
but my mind is too broken
prove to me i'm wrong

Inefficient love
Subpar communication
Almost good enough
Almost worth listening to
If you say nothing
You confirm it with silence
But if you argue
Please bring some more evidence
I'm trying to hope
That this self-talk's distorted
I'm sorry my pain
Is underreported
If nobody cared
Then surely I'd be alone
And not surrounded
By those who want to love me—
But I don't know how
To feel the love that they show.
I shrink back, I hide,
Because it hurts me sometimes.
These are all my thoughts
They feel so true in my mind.
But I really hope I'm wrong.

Listen: believe me,
If I knew how to rise up
And overcome them
You would see the shadows crawl
Out of discomfort
For the light bursting, flying,
Exploding forth and
Breaking free of the old bonds
On my now unfettered soul.

if death's an exit
it explains the red carpet
on the bathroom floor
credits written without ink
paper slipped under the door

gasping through my ear
warm bare hands slither beneath
sneaking through tight skin
i steer waves you shut those eyes
leave the realm where lust is sin

for months, the kind son
looked over her living corpse
to prolong her breath
but tonight he stepped outside
to waste his with cigarettes

song jives with the sight
dying sun burning the edges
golden leaf eclipse
i sniff my fingertips the
stink of rusty guitar strings