Maybe, poets write because they have unstable feelings.
Maybe, poets write at 2am, in order to ease it.
Maybe, poets write to contain their feelings in to it.
Maybe, poets write *hopelessly.
Maybe, poets write at 2am hopelessly hoping, that, someone, on the other side of the earth, someone is awake to read the poem.

*And maybe someone awake, maybe, to care.

And then we meshed our stars and diamonds
Standing in the acid rain
The universe swirling down the drain
And our hair was all in strings
Wet from the darkness and the cold and the ice forming
And I'm not crying, not crying, no
My face is just wet with tears.

lately, everything's been about you.
i'd see "closed" signs on antique shop windows
and eviction notices on apartment doors
and remember how it felt when you slammed the door on every possibility of us.
i'd see pens and papers and stop myself in the bookstore from throwing them on the ground and screaming "i used to be the one you write about". now i just find spare ones in my room that i can cry onto when no one's around. the ink seeps through my fingertips as i break the plastic case of every pen i lay my hands on and it's supposed to make me feel better but it doesn't. it just reminds me of the ink you injected in my veins and no matter how deep i cut i can't get it the **** out.

you grew something inside of me and i swear they're not flowers because they've been flourishing when i water them with *****.

i'd stare at streetlights and remember that one time you told me you'd  kiss me under every single one of them but here i am brushing my teeth so hard it bleeds every night because the only time i taste your lips now is when i'm dreaming.

and now here i am trying in vain to paint the sunset with the color of your eyes. i didn't want to forget how they lit up when you said "i love you" but maybe it was just a reflection of how bright mine were when you finally said those three words.

well, to be fair, you only told me you loved me. i guess it's my fault i assumed it meant you'd never leave.

I walked down the street,
Two A.M in the morning,
Knocked on his door three times,
His face popped into view.

His eyes concerned, 
And he opened his mouth,
But I raised my hand,
And stopped him.

"Look, I know you don't want me here,
You probably don't feel the same way.
But hear me out
And listen to my say."

"I sure have been in love with you,
For a really long time.
But our friendship has been a little rocky,
And I did not want not ruin it 
Any more.

I also wish
That these feelings would go away,
So I waited.
By they didn't.
We only grew further apart.

I was relived when you came back.
But I knew you didn't feel the same way,
And I was put in misery again.

I have tried my best for you,
I have stuck up for you,
I dreamt about you,
I did everything I could for you.

But you stuck with being the bad boy,
Dating the bad girls,
Those impressions that the town has,
Isn't really you.

I know I am one of the few people,
Who can see through your ego.
You really are a genuine guy,
You are so so nice.

You treat people the way 
They should be treated.
You want to protect
The ones you love.

I have fallen for your humor,
I have fallen for your kindness,
I have fallen for your generosity,
I have fallen for your cockiness.

But sometimes I wish 
I was that girl,
Who had all your attention;
All your love.

So, I know this might ruin
Our beautiful friendship,
But I want you to know that I Love you;
And I always will.

I want you to know, 
That I wish you were the one I called early in the morning,
Just to say hi.
The one I called in the middle of the night,
Because I was in danger.
The one I hugged everyday,
Because I just loved you that much.
The one who would come up to me
At a godly hour,
Just to say you couldn't lose me.

But now, I'm the one,
Who is coming up to you,
At a godly hour
Saying I can't lose you.

You might not deserve a girl like me,
I'm just vulnerable.
But I try to get your attention,
Because I really need you.
I can sense your presence,
From a mile away.
And God ******,
You are really ****.

So here I am,
At your doorstep,
Asking for one thing only,
Yet it means so much.

So, please, I know it's asking too much,
But will you be the one I call early in the morning?

 Will you be my 2 A.M?"

I remember it
all too well
her tears were there
and she was unfixable
at 2 a.m., she was
taken for granted
and she thought
how sure it was she'd be outlived
I remember her
voice cracked, raw
as she said
I can't
and I can see it now
those doe eyes filled my vision
and tears swam round her lashes
so tired of crying
I remember it
I can feel it in my bones
how the air grew hotter
between spaces when no one spoke
but most of all
I remember me
speechless and dazed
filled with sorrow
my words were nothing
against her pain
she was still screaming
when I said to her
softly as I could
don't give up on yourself
for we both know
it isn't fair to you
stay away from your razors tonight.
look me in the eyes
you are so loved, and by so many

memories may fade
but flashbacks are forever
coming back
haunting my nightmares
refusing to die.

here i am
bleeding ink onto
a clean page
when i should
be safe and sound
with the dreams
that include you
and slowly become
my nightmares.