2am
I'm addicted to heartache
The kind that rips you apart inside
Leaves you shaking
Tears streaming down your face

3am
The moon bright in your eyes
Sparkling behind the moisture
Sobs wrack my body
The stars seem to be falling from the sky
This feeling is what I know best

4am
All is quiet
The night doesn't make a sound
Theres nothing left to come out
Tears have dried
And my mind is numb
I feel nothing
Hollow and empty
This feeling is all too hauntingly familiar

5am
The morning approaches
And I am still awake
Staring at the wall
Nothing left

6am
Time to get up
Plaster a smile on my face
Smear concealer under my eyes
And pretend like those dark circles aren't there

9am
Everyone is oblivious
But I know
That tonight
I'm going to go through it all again

It’s 2 am
And the walls scare me
Because the shadows don’t look like me
And the moon is a piece of cheese
That is too bright.

It’s 2am
And the ink spills
And my hands are witness to the tragedy
The Dawn helps
But can’t get back what I’ve already lost

It’s 2am
And I close my eyes
Hoping for some peace
From my ravaged thoughts

I get shaken awake
By my mind reminding me of all the words
I haven’t written down yet

And suddenly
It’s 3am
And I write
C
O
C
O
O
N
With shaking hands.

I stared at the letters
That can start life again
Willing them to transform
Transform into some beautiful 2 winged creature.

I begged it to leave
This 4-wall enclosure
Because protection is only an idea

The walls are daring me to knock them down
Like the dominoes I secretly keep under my bed

It’s 4am
And the words are pouring out of my mind
But my pen can’t keep up.
I am drowning.

I remember the 2am nights
That I miscalculated in trying to see the sunset
But the ink ran off the page.

I went outside and prayed to the Moon
That the pen won’t take my life by the time the Sun sets again.
Then I went inside to rewrite the words covering the trashcan
Until I felt the Sun pat me on the shoulder
Congratulating me.

I spent the day
Scrubbing the wall, floors, myself

The evening Sun told me I was almost there
I was almost cured
Then she frowned at
The new paper I found
And the feather and ink I conjured.

Then I smiled and showed
Her the written words
I tattooed on my chest
“I am the madness in your eyes.”
The Sunset gasped and fainted
As the Moon went to catch her

Then I found myself again
At 2am.
Writing on my last piece of paper;
Waiting for the Sun to rise.

dear "two a.m.,"

soon i shall leave you
we knew the day would come

but i hope you remember
and i hope you forget
there is so much with you i treasure
and so much that i still regret

please don’t think of my spontaneous outbursts towards you
i want you to recall it raining and us dancing and laughing
let my tears slip from your mind
but don't let my scars fade
they are what proved i was real

ask deep questions that startle those you are with
don’t let up, get the answers so you can learn the questions
this is the only lesson i can teach you
for i know won’t be remembered for my intelligence
but for my use of words and how often i gave them

live, love with your heart
i know now that it’s okay to stop thinking
if only sometimes
let my words and my love live

i’ve tried to make my words count
and my love strong
some words i regret, some i didn’t mean
some love was held back, i wish i hadn’t

but they are my legacy
they are what live on
what nothing can strip of me

as the clock strikes "three," just please, don’t completely forget me

~"sg"

At 2am, you're on my mind.

It's 2am and she's not asleep
Planning for a life she knows she won't keep
Looking for stars while the sky cries rain,
She wants to let go, but she knows it's in vain.
It looks like she's given up on all of her dreams,
She's both happy and sad, the two extremes.
Picturing someone arriving at her door
A prince in dark armor, prepared for the war.
She gathers her weapons and looks to the sky
She'll fight a great battle, but she wants to die.
It's 3am now and the storm hasn't passed
She closes her eyes, finally, at last.
The last of her blood drips to the floor,
It's over now, her pain is no more.